An essay on the foolish things girls do for a guy...

By Ai Lung Nguyen

I admit it.

I took up archery for a guy.

Okay, yes, archery is an awesome sport and everything. But the truth is I also wanted to get closer to a guy and thought spending $400 on archery equipment would help me do it. (His name is Micah and he is just dreamy to look at... and then I found out that he was in a relationship already.)

So now I have lots of archery equipment but have lost some of my nerve with respect to properly learning the sport because I feel like a fool. I am still planning to use the equipment and learn, but my reasons for learning have changed dramatically.

And now I am writing an essay detailing not only the foolish things I have done, but also other women have done so they can get closer to a guy they like.

Here are some examples (some of these I did myself, although I won't say which)...

Spilling hot coffee or tea on herself because she was trying to put on makeup in a hurry while trying to drink at the same time (multitasking with coffee is not as smart as people think).

Flying overseas to meet a guy she has never met in person - or even spoken to on the phone.

Having an affair with a married man in the vain hope he will leave his wife for his mistress.

Signing up for personal training sessions with a hot guy only to find out later that he is gay.

Getting in a car accident because they were browsing profiles of hot guys on Plenty of Fish when they should have been driving.

Buying an expensive gift for a guy you like even though you are not dating and have no idea if he likes you.

Misreading signals that the guy is interested romantically when in reality he is just doing his job.

And the list goes on and on. Feel free to add your own in the comments section below.

Almost half the list above I have done myself at one time or another. Shameful really. Or just plain embarrassing.

One of the worst ones women do I think is loan men money - or give them money - when then aren't even dating the man in question. This is worse if the guy is a bum / con artist who uses women all the time.

Fortunately I have never done that. But I have spent plenty of my hard earned money traveling and buying things (for myself) in an attempt to meet guys / impress them.

And I can only conclude I have been going about this all wrong. Attracting a man in the first place is 90% looks and body language - and 10% personality.

But keeping a man long term is roughly 60% personality and 40% looks. (Some people will no doubt argue about this ratio, so feel free to leave a comment below.)

I argue the 60 / 40 split because staying with someone over the long term (male or female) is going to depend mostly on personality and their compatibility with yourself. But physical attractiveness continues to play a role otherwise people are likely to grow bored of their mate and cheat on them.

Another thing I have done in the past is date men I found a bit unattractive (eg. overweight) and think that I can somehow change them into more attractive versions of themselves over time if I get them to exercise more.

Thus I admit, I did at one point buy a guy I was dating a bicycle. For his birthday, so that is not so bad as just randomly buying him gifts - and I was dating him for a good amount of time.

The problem however is that he never used the bicycle. He didn't really exercise. He was one of those lazy guys who thinks he doesn't need to exercise.

Over time I realized I could not put up with his lazy personality and broke up with him. His attractiveness was a factor, I admit, but his unwillingness to change, to be more productive with his life, his addiction to video games... well, it eventually just reached a breaking point.

So my advice to other ladies out there, don't date guys who have huge stacks of video games. It shows they have no ambition in life and would rather be a fat / lazy slob on a couch playing video games every day.

When I broke up with him I asked if I could take the bicycle back and he said "Sure, whatever." He had rode it once.

I have basically concluded that whenever I like a guy I should wait until I can confirm whether he likes me or not before even thinking of doing anything foolish for him. Doing foolish things just to attract his attention in the first place just seems to backfire instead.