12 Funny Relationship Tips about Communicating

Never go to bed angry—stay up and argue like champions until at least 2 a.m. so you both forget what started it.

If you’re both hungry, you’re not in a relationship—you’re in a temporary war zone. Feed yourselves immediately.

The phrase “Do whatever you want” never means what it sounds like. Proceed with extreme caution.

Apologize early, apologize often, and occasionally for things you’re not entirely sure you did.

If your partner says they’re “fine,” they are not fine. This is a test. You are already failing.

Choose your battles wisely. For example: is this really worth sleeping on the couch over a thermostat setting?

Learn your partner’s coffee order like it’s sacred knowledge. This alone can save entire days.

Compliments are free, but somehow still underused. Deploy them like a genius strategist.

If you win an argument, you probably just lost something more important.

Don’t try to fix every problem. Sometimes your job is just to nod and say, “Yeah, that’s ridiculous.”

Remember: you’re not dating a mind reader. Use words. Actual, clear, human words.

The real secret to a long relationship? Both people pretending they’re the lucky one.

 

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! 

Why Women need to be Afraid of Creepy Incel Losers more than Ever

By Monique Bellamont - April 2018.

In the wake of the Toronto Van Attack and the Incel*'s victims - 10 dead and another 15 people injured, women need to understand that there is a reason why they should follow their gut instinct and avoid the creepy losers they sometimes meet on first dates.

See Also Why Some Incels are Celebrating the Toronto Van Attack

* Incel = Involuntary Celibate. A male virgin who blames women for the fact that they are a virgin and is violently angry about it, when in reality they are a virgin because they are creepy losers.

The Creep Factor = Dealbreaker

When meeting a new guy for the first time many women (dare I say all women?) have to assess whether this guy is a creepy nutcase who might try to murder us, stalk us, abduct us and keep us in a basement replaying their favourite scene from Silence of the Lambs.

Not to make light of the situation, but lets face it: There are some creepy scary men out there who reek of desperation and the potential to be violent. Are they all violent? No, absolutely not. But everyone (men and women) has the potential to be violent. Some people are simply more violent and creepy than other people.

And that is what the woman's instincts are looking for on these first dates. Is this guy a creepy violent lunatic? And is he actually marriageable material worthy of meeting my parents?

Are Incels really losers?

Well if we want to use sports analogies, here goes:

The Winners are typically the masculine jocks who win the football game and date a cheerleader.

The Losers are not masculine, not "Alpha Males", and they are certainly not winning at football or any other sports. And only in their dreams are they dating a cheerleader.

This doesn't mean Incels cannot be financially successful. Rather what Incels are bad at is being social with the opposite sex in a manner which is not creepy. They are socially awkward around women, don't really know how to talk to women in a manner which is not creepy, make weird jokes that don't go over that well, and generally frighten all the women away.

In the dating world, Incels are basically at the bottom of the pecking order, with the jocks and alpha males way up at the top, and the Incels are down in the gutters.

So it is no wonder Incels are bitter about it. They are sexually repressed, socially inept, scare all the women away, and have zero clue about what their real problem is and instead blame all their problems on women.

So yes, Incels are definitely losers.

Are Incels Misogynists?

Yes. Incels hate women. That is the very definition of misogyny.

They are also anti-feminists, anti-social and have a host of other problems. Mental issues? Maybe. Mental hangups? Definitely. Slight difference between the two.

Incels are also often internet trolls playing out their creepy fantasies on websites like 4chan - which is home to many different subculture groups which are similarly creepy and violent.

Incel Terminology

Incels hate the whole dating world. They cannot compete with the alpha males and have regressed to internet groups where they talk to other Incels, celebrate their misogyny and complain about women all the time. Incels even have a name for these women:

Stacy - A woman who pretends to be all innocent but whenever she meets a Chad she suddenly becomes interested in sex.

Chad - An alpha male or a winner, a man worthy of actually having sex with. Even Beta males qualify as Chads, because even though they are lower in the pecking order, they are still higher than the loser virgin Incels at the bottom.

The Incel Rebellion - Some Incels have been pushing the idea that they should all rise up and kill the Chads and Stacys of the world. That is how bitter and violent these people are.

Alek Minassian - The creepy loser from Toronto who killed 10 people and injured 15 trying to start an Incel Rebellion.

Elliot Rodger - The creepy loser from Santa Barbara who killed 6 people and injured 14 back in 2014, also trying to start an Incel Rebellion and inspired Alek Minassian.

The École Polytechnique Murderer, aka Marc Lépine - Killed 14 people and injured 14 others at the
École Polytechnique in Montreal in 1989. He blamed women for himself not getting into the school's engineering program. He claimed he was "fighting feminism".

Why Incels need to Get A Life

There is actually a cure for men who are Incels.

It is called going outside and Get A Life. These losers have spent too much time focused on trying to get laid, venting their frustrations on the internet (4chan and other misogynistic websites) and surrounded by other men who are just an echo chamber for their own worst ideas.

They need to go outside, find a hobby, lets say for example "Birdwatching" and just focus on that hobby for months or years.

And while they are doing all this Birdwatching (aka Birding) they should learn how to socialize with other birdwatchers (including women) without being a creepy loser.

Then after years of socializing and not creeping women out, maybe then they might meet a woman who is also into Birdwatching who finds him attractive and not creepy at all.

And obviously it doesn't have to be Birdwatching.

I recommend staying away from the more violent hobbies like hunting or kickboxing, because that is actually more likely to just add to the Creep Factor. It could be any number of non-violent hobbies.

• Fishing
• Canoeing
• Exercising
• Walking the Dog
• Catching Butterflies
• Beekeeping
• Non-Profit Volunteer
• Etc

So essentially there is a cure, but it requires the man - the Incel - to recognize that they are their own worst enemy when it comes to socializing with women. They need to get outside, exercise, find a hobby, and become a new better person.

Or they could just stay a creepy loser Incel. It is their choice after all.

The Girlfriendzone

Would you date a deaf person?

COMMUNICATION SKILLS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Years ago I dated a deaf girl. For me this was not too big of a deal, as I already have hearing difficulties. So it was like one deaf person who knew sign language dating one partially deaf person who was learning sign language. Communication for us was not the problem. What I discovered early in the relationship it was her religiousness and clingy-ness that bothered me. Being religious and clingy is not a good combination.

Communication for us included a combination of sign language and writing / typing things down when it was too complicated to discuss using my limited knowledge of sign language. Note - I studied sign language for years before I met her. My interest in sign language dated back to making a male friend in university who was deaf and this sparked my interest in learning the language.

For me, since I have suffered from hearing damage since the age of 12, learning sign language also seemed like a logical step in case I ever needed it in the future. What if I went deaf sometime in the future and was no longer able to communicate so easily. I would need to learn how to read lips, sign language and so forth.

Much more likely I am probably going to need hearing aids as I get older, in which case I am in luck because I already know an audiologist in Mississauga, who has a hearing clinic in Oakville and another hearing center in Vaughan near Woodbridge. Very nice guy who checked my ears over a year ago to see how bad the damage had gotten.

At the time I was single and I began thinking "What if I went deaf? Who would date a deaf guy?" Well obviously deaf women would be willing to date me, but that really limits my options.

In the past during first dates I have sometimes mentioned my hearing difficulties and I have found that some women react poorly to the idea of dating a guy whom they would sometimes have to repeat what they said in a louder voice or stop mumbling so much.

The one girl got really upset when I explained that she mumbles a bit and that it was difficult for me to hear exactly what she was saying. Which is perhaps understandable. Maybe she got teased as a child for having a speech impediment.

In which case you would think she would have more sympathy for the kid who got teased for having hearing difficulties. But apparently not.

I don't mind telling the story of how my hearing got damaged. It is a funny story involving trespassing and someone shooting at me. If the topic of funny stories comes up it is a story I am not ashamed to tell.

But I do wonder if some women react badly to the idea of dating someone who is either deaf or has hearing damage.

I also firmly believe that if I wore a hearing aid that this would be considered a flaw in my visual appearance by some women and they would refuse to date a person who wears a hearing aid.

So my question for people out there is

"Would you date a person who is deaf or has hearing difficulties? Why or why not?"

Please leave your answers in the comments.

Exercise and Common Lies people post on Personals

Ever read a profile on a personals website and the person lists the following as exercise activities they enjoy regularly?

1. Long walks (exploring the city, by the beach, etc)
2. Yoga
3. Hiking (implies long walks in the wilderness)
4. Biking or cycling
5. Weightlifting
6. Martial arts (any kind)

Chances are likely the following things are true:

The person rarely goes for long walks and are just saying that because they want the appearance of being active.

They probably so own a yoga mat, but it spends most of its time collecting dust.

They don't know what real hiking is and they are saying hiking because they think their ideal mate should be outdoorsy.

They own a bicycle but only ride it once in awhile - never on bike trails, never downtown, just 3 - 10 times per year on quiet streets or down by the beach.

It is typical guy thing to say they do weightlifting - it means they have dumbbells but probably don't use them often. Much more rare for women to say they do weightlifting.

Any time a man says he does martial arts it mean he took one class years ago and has probably forgotten everything.

EXCEPTIONS TO THESE GENERALIZATIONS

• They have actual photos of them doing these activities.
• They make a big deal about talking about the activity in their profile. (Yoga is my life, I cannot live without it!)
• They listed "yoga instructor" as their occupation.
• They are a rarity and were not lying about their activities. Otherwise you can assume most of them are exaggerating how often they do an activity.

In some cases it is the person lying to themselves. They WISH they were more active. Which is true for most of us.

Jealousy Fuelled Rage and Temper Tantrums

To maintain the privacy of the individuals I have changed all the names of the people mentioned in this post.

I belong to a gaming group that plays Dungeons and Dragons. Now the first thing you know about D&D players is that they often don't have girlfriends. Well in this group they all have girlfriends - and two of the gamers are women and dating the other gamers.

The group is...

Genevieve, who is dating Peter and close friends with Angela.
Peter, who is the guy running the game and works as a doctor.
Angela, who is dating Locke, and a bit naive.
Locke, who is very overweight and very insecure about his relationship with Angela.
Plus me and three other guys, all of which have girlfriends.
As the group dynamic goes I am the jock of the group. I work as a personal trainer, and while I play D&D I am basically leaps ahead of the common nerd with respect to my weight and musculature. Basically I am a fitness nerd who can quote you how many calories activities burn depending on your weight.

Thus it was when I first joined this group that Locke immediately hated me and made a rude comment within he first two minutes of shaking his hand.

Why?! Because he sees me as a threat who might steal away his girlfriend. A girlfriend who is much more attractive than he is physically, but he manages to control her somewhat due to her naivete and his domineering personality.

Now I know she is atttactive, but just because a person is attractive doesn't mean someone else is automatically attracted to them. For my part I have known Angela since 2004 and in the last 9 years she has gained some weight, lost some of her attractiveness and while I might have been interested in her 9 years ago I am no longer interested in her. To me she is now "one of he guys".

But to Locke I am still a threat. To the point of jealousy and delusions.

Since joining the group last Winter he has sent me two ranting emails trying to intimidate me into quitting the group. He makes up such things like I slow the game down (completely untrue), that everyone else hates me (if that was true why is he the only one complaining?), and similar ridiculous claims.

Basically it is the kind of angry rants people tend to write late at night when they're feeling more paranoid than usual and their blood sugar levels are wonky.

Recently Locke decided to quit the group and pressured his girlfriend to quit too. This was followed by his most recent ranting temper tantrum email wherein he complains about me and tries to convince others I am a danger to the group.

In other words, he is making mountain ranges out of molehills so small that only a delusional person can see them.

I am no more a threat to the group than the plastic miniatures on the gaming table.

But I am a threat because he is worried might steal his girlfriend. She has to toe the line of his jealousy and delusions otherwise he will get really upset. And she is a bit too naive and he is too domineering for that to change.

Conclusions?

Seriously. Jealousy is like a form of insanity. Even when there is nothing there a person with insane jealousy can turn into an obsessive maniac.

I find the whole thing petty and yet funny. He lacks confidence in himself and is so insecure he sees every man who is more attractive than him as a potential rival for her affections. And he then goes to insane extremes and makes ridiculous statements based on his paranoid delusions.

And that frankly, is both hilarious and pitiful.

Fortunately not all nerds are as insecure and problematic as Locke is. Some of them, like the characters from the Big Bang Theory, can actually get girlfriends and have successful relationships.

But I admit that for the hardcore nerds - especially ones who are overweight and mentally off their rocker, it is pretty freaking rare.

Should I Text Him Flowchart

Interested in a guy and want to send him a text? Follow the flowchart to find out whether you should.

The Pre Date Phone Call - Screening your Dates Beforehand = Judgement Time

Ah, the good ol' pre date phone call.

Ever done this?

Basically the person you are planning to have a first date with wants to hear the sound of your voice and have a conversation to see if you are compatible.

For me this is a great way to weed out people I would find exceptionally annoying to talk to in real life.

I will cite a specific example here:

"Samantha" called me up while I was having a texting conversation with her. Apparently she was getting impatient and wanted to speak with me right away. I didn't even get to finish my text about zombies. Oh well.

During the ensuing phone conversation I began to notice a number of annoying traits about this woman.

#1. She got upset way too easily, over even minor things. (Which means it is really easy to push her buttons.)

#2. She came off as a bit of a braggart and egotistical - which is never a desirable trait. (I am not perfect either, but I do have a decent sense of humility.)

#3. My talkativeness made her anxious and annoyed - as did my apparent ability to guess what she was about to say next. (Honestly, I have gotten very good at guessing what people will say next. If that is my superpower it is apparently an annoying one.)

#4. My impression was that she was both a hypocrite and very judgmental, stating that she doesn't like judgmental people - and yet was being judgmental herself. When I pointed this out later on she got very upset. And when I explained that "Everyone is judgmental all the time. When you pick up a piece of cheese you are judging whether it is good to eat." she tried to argue that people aren't constantly judging everything they see, hear, smell, etc. At which point I explained yes they are. Because their brain interprets the data they receive from all the senses / etc and then makes a judgment call based on what it knows already. "This cheese smells like bad cheese. Time to throw it out because I think it has gone bad." The cheese has been judged. Even if the cheese smelled good then it would still get a judgment, but then it would be a positive one. "This cheese smells good. Time to make grilled cheese sandwiches!"

By the time I had determined #4 I knew this woman was not for me - in fact I daresay she is probably a mental headcase who is not ready to be dating anyone for a long term period.

How do I know this? Because the conversation was reminding me of an ex I had several years ago who was so judgmental and argumentative that I eventually broke up with and the reason I gave for the breakup was because I was extremely unhappy whenever I was with her.

I am serious, she was making me miserable because I couldn't have a normal conversation with her without her starting an argument. (So if I was already getting this from a mere 50 minute phone call then it was a pretty bad sign this woman was not for me.)

I think it might have something to do with my parents arguing a lot when I was a kid - argumentative people, the kind who deliberately argue for the sake of arguing, really grate on my nerves.

Which is why I contend that Samantha (and other extremely argumentative women like her) are not suitable for dating anyone. No one. Period.

Same goes with men who have the same sort of personality.

Now you might think "Oh but it takes two to tango. You can't have an argument if only one person is arguing."

Yes, you can. Both my parents have done it many times and I have personally witnessed it many times. It only takes one person to start an argument - and then just need to be in a deliberately argumentative mood.

As opposed to a person who is simply argumentative ALL THE TIME.

What it makes me realize is that there should almost be some kind of CONVERSATION ETIQUETTE that we can teach people in order to make them socialize better and lead them away from their argumentative tendencies.

For example things like "Don't bring up politics, religion or abortion."

However at the same time if those topics are such a big deal maybe it is better to get them out of the way in an hurry. Get it over and done with. Rip the bandaid off in one swift motion.

This is why "Judgement Time" (as I like to call it) or the "Pre Date Phone Call" is such an awesome way to screen potential dates.

Especially if you realize the person on the other end is an egotistical braggart / hypocrite and you start deliberately pressing their buttons.

Which I wholly admit to. Near the end of the call I was deliberately (but politely) pushing her buttons to make her realize what a hypocritical jackass she was.

I can be a jackass too, but at least I admit to it. It is the phonies that irritate me.

Being judgmental is NOT a bad thing. Making judgment calls about potential romantic partners just means you are trying to gauge people and then make a decision. There is nothing wrong with that.

However I will say that you should never judge too quickly. Wait and see first. When in doubt you should always try to test out whether the other person truly is the jackass you suspect them to be before giving them the proverbial boot.

Building Stronger Relationships Towards LOVE

Want to build a stronger and healthier relationship? Follow the following tips and you will find you both develop feelings of love faster and are more open about communicating.

1. Relax Optimistically

Having a relax mind about the person with whom you are interested in relationship will help you to build a strong trust and relationship. When you feel comfortable with others, then they will feel comfortable with you. If you are interested in relationship don’t be nervous because a nervous person can’t achive his destiny and the partner will easily sense that and they will withdraw from relationships.

It is common when we meet a online friend in real world, but have a brighten face which will attract the friend you are meeting and also persons around. In this world each and every person are interested in meeting other singles who are having fun and joy. That is the reason why we are trying to make friendship and relationship. When you are meeting a long lost friend your face will glow in joy and shine like a sun because the friend you’re meeting is your best friend. When you have that face to the new friend they will feel happy and comfortable to have a friendship or relationship with you. Here I would like to introduce a secret to you for getting a brighten face.

SMILE, nothing can beat a smile, it make your face to glow in joy. We are interested to meet a girl/ guy who is has a smile in his face. We won’t turn to a person who don’t know how to smile. So smile is a biggest way to get an instant glow in your face and you will get relaxed in mind too. When your smile reciprocates by partner then your heart will smile and that gives a bonding with the partner you are having relationship.

2. Listen Deeply

Relaxing your mind and smileing gives a start to build trust with each other but when you listen to the words and messages of your partner then it will create unexplainable joy to the heart of your friend or partner. Share their thoughts by listening to their words.

Allow them to speak, In a successful relationship between any two persons there will be a lot of communication and sharing. Before building trust no person will tell their secrets but when you listen to them with heart then they will open their heart wide for accommodating you into that place. Listening creates an emotional feelings to person who is communicating. Friendship and relationships are tied with a bond of emotion not with a bond of appearance.

Listen to your partner or friend with heart, listen deeply with emotional feeling. You will listen carefully when you place yourself in the place of your partner. Feel their emotions and the body psotures. Body language reveals a lot of messages to the outside world. There is a lot of books available in bookstores which teach you the body language.

When you feel your partner is in need offer a hand of help, which makes your bonds strong with each other. Friendship and relationship (An affair with your love) is beyond parenting. You can’t share some secrets with your parents but with your friend. This kind of sharing will come when they feel comfortable and trust on you. To get this relationship and friendship you need to listen carefully.

3. Feel Empathetically

As I said earlier feeling or seeing the other person’s perspective without seeing your own belief is empathetic. In friendship or relationship you must see the perspective point of the person who is sharing the problem rather than your own point. It leads to two way communication between you both. When you feel their mistakes as yours then there will be the birth for solutions.

When your partner realize that you know the mistakes of them and still you are respecting them and sharing excitement during their victory, encouragement and support during their difficulty will build trust on you because you are looking into the person’s heart, not looking into mistakes. If you are not at all looking into mistakes of other person, it will lead you to difficulty. Rather correct them when they are doing small mistakes and forget that mistakes, this gives a double times trust on you because you are trying to correct the person but not leaving the person. Empathy will build a strong relationship and friendship with trust.

4. Respond Carefully

Emotions create good and also bad.

Emotionally motivated persons will do good and wrongs because they relates everything with emotions. When you are emotionally charged choose your words correctly. If you’re not correct in your words then the trust you built till that moment will shatter into pieces which is unrecoverable. So choose your words and emotions carefully.

Showing your emotions without understanding the other person mood will also create problems, so understand the person’s mood and needs. As I said words can build or destroy trust on you. When they are sad make them to come up by your words, which will build trust, but when they are happy and you speak about their past mistakes without intention will destroy trust on you immediately.

Before responding to a question listen deeply and analyze them deeply in your heart. Reply them with your view ans solution back to them carefully. When you respond back to them use their words rather than your words which will create an feeling that you have listened their words and problems which again gives trust on you.

5. Compliment Them

Compliment, a small word which does miracles. None in this world hates compliment because it gives joy to your heart that they appreciate us for our work. Compliment them whenever possible. Appreciating a person is like walking on top of a knife. When you over-compliment them they will think as you are teasing thme rather than appreciating their work, which will back fire you. So compliment them with some limit. Share their joy and sarrows with you also. A response can be encouraging or discouraging, but a limited compliment will encourage others and they get trust on you. Guys you can try with a girl with following words ” Hey _____( fill with that person name), You look gorgeous and stunning.”, it may be true or false but that girl with whom you are trying will like you. And gals you try the same with guys, guys will follow you and do anything for you people. This is the power of compliment. Each and every person loves compliment.

6. Synchronize Cooperatively

Synchronizing!!!

Hmmm what is synchronizing, A true and trusting friendship and relationship will happen when both friends interest and activities lies in same frequency. if you act like your partner and if they act like your activities then it creates a strong bond of friendship or relationship because everyone want to mate with those have their interest. When two same interest collides there will be a discussion and fun. if two opposite interest collides there will be a major accident happens. When two interest or views meet each other then there will be another view which will be a mix of both and we share our picture on it. Rachel and john are friends who have same interest of rock music, then they will share music first then they share their friendship, same time if Rachel has a rock music interest and John has a classical music interest they can’t share music rather they share wrongs and criticism.

Synchronizing your partner's interest is more important. Not every human is having same interest, you need to find common interest of your partner and try to develop with that. There is a possibility of sharing friendship with two different interest people. In this case there both never share their own interest rather they try to learn their partners interest which also gives a strong bonding, because you are trying to synchronize with your partner interest. Relationship require a cooperative action to survive in the minds. When you are not cooperative they never feel comfortable with you which is the base of creating strong relationships.

When relationships mature, then the values of the couple also changes. You need to be flexible with your partner by understanding the changes and goals. Without cooperative actions a relationship will not survive for a long time.

7. Act Authentically

Authentically means acting with your values. In simple words Be Yourself. When you are not like yourself. being yourself is not by appearance but by heart. Be yourself like when you are without no one. Don’t create any false appearance with others which will not create a trusting bond in your relationship and it never helps your relationship in any way. False face will not survive for a long time, for making it to survive you need to do a lot wrongs which tells you that you are not true in your friendship or relationship.

When you act like yourself you are honest to yourself and also to others which will never make you as wrong rather it gives you respect among others. Say what you can do and do what you say, be a man of words. When you are standing on your words your partner will trust you and your words. Be clear in your relationship, and find what your partner needs from your relationships. This will give you a clear mind rather than a confused mind. when you are clear by your mind you will feel relaxed and comfortable in your relationship.

8. Acknowledge Generously

When you need relationship look positive qualities of others rather than looking bad qualities. Acknowledgement from another person will register that person in brain or mind for a long time. That figure will not forget or diminish in the mind. Acknowledge them for their good qualities, Don’t overlook bad qualities of others.

Show your gratitude and encouragement by words and actions to your partner. Encourage them when they are in difficulties, support them when they are in need, These are all some kind of acknowledging problems of them and providing hands for help. When heart registers us as we are there for helping at anytime heart never feel depressed rather it shares its problem like river of flood. Sharing problems comes only after your relationship is built with strong base and trust.

To start strong relationship the above mentioned are like the tip of an iceberg. There is a lot of qualities which we need to find ourselves because they differ from each person to person. To start take a piece of paper and write down all your qualities whether good or bad, check yourself which can be used. By doing this you will find yourself which brings your inner-self. When your inner-self is out you can validate yourself into relationship you want.

5 Tips to Become a Lady Magnet

Are you interested in attracting women like magnets in your singles life?

Have you ever wondered how Bad Boys manage to attract women so easily by behaving like jerks?

Its because women's brains are hard-wired to be attracted to Alpha-Males - and thus specific behaviour causes women to be instantly attracted to any man who exhibits Bad Boy / Alpha Male traits.

Here's how...

1: Never Settle for Just Any Woman

The biggest mistake you can possibly make in any relationship is to settle for whatever woman comes along for fear you can’t do any better than what you have! Doing this will prevent you from ever finding the woman you are truly meant to be with. It is difficult to take a leap of faith, especially in matters of the heart, but settling to be with a woman that doesn’t “do it for you” is a HUGE mistake…for you both! Do NOT settle for just any woman hold out for someone that you really connect with and live the life of your dreams! Believe it or not, women admire men who know what they want and won’t settle for anything less. It is a major turn on!

2: Apply the Laws of Attraction

This subject has been poked, prodded, turned upside down and inside out. It is contained within every magazine and book and research paper on the subject of love that you will ever run across. As a relationship expert myself, I have an entire wall of books dedicated to this subject alone, and more books and articles and theories are created every day around the globe on the differences between men and women regarding their particular triggers for attraction. It is right under your nose, every day, everywhere…on TV, out in public, you name the place…it’s right there staring you down! Yet unbelievably, there are STILL people who are completely clueless about the Laws of Attraction.
Now, this is not to say that the Laws of Attraction are good or right or even tolerable at times. But, there are certain inalienable truths about attraction that you need to know and understand if you desire to become successful in any romantic relationship.

What are the Laws of Attraction? Simply put, Men and Woman are polar opposites when it comes to attraction. Men initially feel sexual attraction based upon a woman’s physical appearance, which then leads them into a desire for a relationship. But, women are initially attracted to a man’s qualities. Sure, women will admire a man’s looks, but that doesn’t lead them into a desire for a relationship with him. It’s when a man exhibits confidence in his body language and communication–regardless of his looks–that women feel a powerful sexual attraction that over shadows the man’s physical attributes.

3: Don’t Be Too Nice

Of course, everyone knows that being “nice” is considered socially acceptable in the world. But, women do not choose a lover based upon how nice they may be – that’s how they choose their friends. Being “NICE” just isn’t what ignites the flames of passion. What does ignite the flames? Attraction. What is attractive? Confidence in one’s self! Use positive body language, take meaningful actions, and be your genuine self without regard to what others may think of you. This doesn’t mean you should act like a jerk, because no one likes a jerk either. It simply means that in order to attract a woman, you MUST be confident in yourself.

4: Convincing a Woman To Like You is a Big No-No!

Do not waste any of your valuable time trying to convince a woman that doesn’t appear interested in you romantically that you are the person they are meant to be with. It will NEVER work, and in fact, may backfire on you in a most embarrassing way. Why is this? Because you can’t change the way a person “feels.” You can try to understand and you can offer alternative points of view, but you cannot change their feelings. To make matters worse, when faced with the knowledge that a woman doesn’t “feel” attracted to them, some men often take ridiculous action to convince them otherwise-they will relentlessly pursue the woman without regard for her lack of “feelings.” Spare yourself this tragedy and move on to the next lady in line, who might just “feel” attracted to you-an absolute necessity to a fulfilling relationship!

 5: Seeking Her Approval is a Waste of Time

It is completely adverse to human nature for a woman to desire a man who seems to actively pursue her approval. Psychologically, it instills in a woman’s mind that the man is automatically not worthy of her attention, and no matter what you do to gain the woman’s approval…you will always be considered less than worthy. ALWAYS! The simple truth is that you will lack the necessary confidence in yourself in order to succeed in gaining the attraction you seek. Now, this does not mean you should completely ignore a woman’s approval-just that, instead, you need to gain it through self confidence. NOT by seeking her approval of you!

How to Find Happiness and True Love

Can you find happiness and true love in a relationship?

Are you looking for a partner to make you happy or complete you?

Is your relationship less than satisfactory and you are wondering how to improve it?

Often we find it impossible to meet our dream guy or find happiness with a man simply because we are looking in the wrong place.

When we look for love, we proceed to look for someone whom we find loveable. Then we try to train him to be the person that we want him to be – a person whom we can continue to love.

How do we do this? Usually, by creating a scene and letting him know how upset we are when he doesn’t behave as we wish. By this he learns that when he exhibits this behaviour we won’t be pleased and we are certainly going to let him know it in the future.

If he’s the type of guy that wants to make us happy, then he stops doing it. Or perhaps he just goes underground and does it in secret next time. Either way, he is probably going to feel some resentment towards us.

When our guy is loveable i.e. he is doing what we want and acting in accordance with our wishes and beliefs, then we find it easy to love him. But there are also the times that we find this difficult. When he is not being loveable, we may find ourselves feeling critical of him or even harbouring unpleasant negative feelings. We may even want him to suffer, because after all, he has made us suffer, hasn’t he?

So, how do we turn this less than satisfactory situation into true love and happiness? Well the first step is realising that a man cannot make you happy, no matter how much he wants to or you want him to. Whilst you will feel happiness with your partner at times, another person will never complete you. You see, happiness is a state of mind and comes from within.

You can see this by considering how you may react to the same situation depending on how you feel at the time. Imagine your man comes home from work and he has had a bad day. You ask him to take out the garbage and he completely ignores you. As he slumps in the chair in front of the TV you can see that he is feeling bad and you rush over to help soothe his feelings.

Now, the same thing happens on another day. Only this time you’ve had a bad day yourself. This time, you were hoping for some comfort from him. When he ignores you, you feel neglected and unloved. You let him know how you feel and an argument ensues. Communication breaks down and the rest of the evening is ruined.

So, now we have established that a man is not able to make us happy. Happiness comes from within and is about you making the choice to be happy despite your external circumstances.

It is about taking responsibility for your own feelings and not expecting your man to conform to everything that you want. It is not about the perfect relationship but about focusing on the positives in the relationship rather than the negatives.

It is very hard to love someone else unless you love yourself first. This is because the way you love your man is a reflection of your own needs and beliefs around love and how it should or shouldn’t be.

Unconditional acceptance of yourself as well as your partner is the only way to find unconditional love in your life. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should put up with a partner who treats you badly.

So, yes you can find happiness in a relationship. But only if you are happy on your own first. If you are looking for love then you must start by loving yourself. Unless you can do this you will never be able to allow love in fully.

You must take responsibility for your own happiness by examining your own beliefs and reactions and how they serve you. And you must accept your man and allow him to be the person he is. Only when all these things come together with a man who loves you and wants to make you happy will you be able to say that you have found true love.

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boyfriend

We all like to pride ourselves on having an honest and truthful relationship with no secrets or lies.

But some things really are just best left in the closet. It’s not lying. It’s not even twisting the truth, technically. It’s just being careful.

Below is a list of ten vital things that you should NEVER say to your boyfriend…. (If you want your relationship to work that is!)

1. “No, you were good. It’s just that….”

Men love believing that no other man can compare to them in the bedroom. If your man does need a bit of guidance in the right direction (possibly quite literally), find a less heart-breaking way of phrasing this. Something along the lines of “You know what’s nice?...” or “You know what might be an idea?....” may be a better way of getting exactly what you want from your man in the bedroom and yet not destroying his ego completely!

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boyfriend

2. “I like your mum. But…”

Even if your boyfriend moans about his mum non-stop, don’t. He can. You can’t. Try to work on your relationship with her if possible, but if that’s not an option, just grin and bear it. It may be hard, but at the end of the day, you’re going out with her son, not her, so who really cares? Slagging her off to your man will only ruin your relationship, meaning (obviously) no boyfriend and that she wins, and we don’t want that now do we? Talk to your friends in confidence instead. It’s a high possibility that they know exactly what you mean too!

3. “When we’re married/old/have kids….”

Until you’re both seriously thinking about these things, don’t bring them up, ever. We all dream of being happily married with two kids, a big house and a dog, but bringing these things up too early on in the relationship will only scare your man away, meaning none of the above, anytime soon. Enjoy the relationship for what it is then eventually these subjects will come up naturally, when the time is right.

4. “There’s this great guy at work…..”

There may well be a great guy at work. Or at university, or at your fitness class or that you met at a party on Saturday night. However, in most cases your boyfriend doesn’t need to know this. Don’t not talk about other people and so on, but if you’re going to phrase it in a way that makes your man feel inadequate, refrain. If this guy is that fantastic, surely you want to be with him, not your boyfriend, anyway?

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boyfriend

5. “Do you think she’s hot?”

This is always a lose-lose situation. If your boyfriend says yes, you’ll want to kill him. Men will (most often) say no thinking that that is what you want to hear, but then you’ll wonder why he doesn’t think she’s hot (you must have thought she was to ask the question in the first place) and then you’ll question your man’s bad taste in women, leading you to wonder: “Well, if he’s got bad taste, what am I then?” Never a good idea.

6. “You’ve put a bit of weight on since we’ve been together.”

No matter what anyone says, men do care about these things too ladies. Imagine how you’d feel if your boyfriend said this to you. Not impressed, I imagine. If it is true that your man has put on a few pounds since you’ve been together, try suggesting joining the gym or taking up a more active hobby together. This way, you get to spend more time with your man and improve your fitness – A double winner!

7. “Your friends are a bit annoying though, aren’t they?”

The last thing you want to do is to put down his friends. Imagine how you’d feel if he started slagging off your friends. A little bit like slapping him I imagine. It’s a bit like the boyfriend’s evil mother situation. Even if your boyfriend’s friends are a bit geeky/boring/rude/incredibly stupid, just deal with it. Again, try to get on with them, but if that’s just not do-able, at the end of the day, who cares? You’ve got your friends and he’s got his. Your relationship with your boyfriend is totally separate from that that he has with his friends.

8. “I’ll try anything once!”

Unless this is very true girls, don’t say it. You’ll only get his hopes up then let him down. And that’s just cruel isn’t it? It’s like him saying: “Yeah, I love shopping. Let’s go every Saturday!” when we all know that in actual fact, he’s lying and will only take all the fun out of the weekly Saturday daytime shopping trip. Enjoy your sex life and have as much fun, as you both want, whilst respecting each other’s boundaries. If you are actually a little bit kinky though, go for it!

9. “Your mate/dad/brother/hamster is really fit……”

Even if they are, don’t bother. He’ll only get paranoid. Just admire from afar ladies. A bit of eye candy on nights out/at family parties is never going to be a problem really is it? No one needs to know!

And for the biggy……..

10. “Aww… My ex……”

Whether you’re referring to your ex in a good or bad way, this is never the smartest of ideas. Your man will just wonder why you felt the need to bring your ex up and why you’re still thinking about him. If you must, think it in your head. Focus on your current relationship. Not the ghosts of the past. That way, eventually, you won’t even want to bring up your ex. It’ll be all about you and your current other half, and no one else – The way it should be.

Like I said, it’s not lying ladies. It’s just being careful and respecting your man and his feelings. Treat others as you wish to be treated, as they say.

Follow these ten rules, and you’ll soon be well on your way to the blissful, make-other-people-jealous relationship that we all deserve!