How to Avoid Mean Guys, aka How Guillermo Aristizabal got me Pregnant and then Dumped Me

Guest Post by Maria López - March 15th 2017.

Hello!

I read your post from last month titled "If He Hasn't Married You By Now, He Isn't Going To" and it got me thinking about an ex of mine and how he was a complete jerk - and how there was no way he was going to marry me and how I should have known better.

Let me summarize.

1. His name is Guillermo Aristizabal. (I know I know, Guillermo even sounds like a douchebag, and he is.)
2. Guillermo Aristizabal lives in Toronto, Canada.
3. We dated for four months and then he got me pregnant.
4. I am pretty sure he got me pregnant on purpose too, as in I suspect he removed the condom on purpose in the dark and got me pregnant on purpose.
5. When he found out I was pregnant in less than a week he cheated on me with my best friend and then dumped me.
6. Guillermo then sent me all sorts of nasty text messages, encouraging me to get an abortion, encouraging me to commit suicide, calling me a slut and a tramp, etc.
7. I did end up having an abortion because I did not want to raise a child alone and I definitely did not want to raise a child when he deliberately got me pregnant and might decide that he wants visitation rights, but the whole experience really turned me off dating older douchebag men.

Since then I have developed a system for only dating men who are NICE.

STEP ONE - Ask how often he visits his parents, phones his parents or otherwise communicates with family (including siblings and other relatives).

Guillermo Aristizabal almost never spoke about his parents/family and in retrospect I should have taken this to be a warning sign that the guy is a psychopath.

The goal of Step One is to only date men who are "family men", who spend a fair amount of time with their families / communicating with them.

STEP TWO - Ask to meet his family and/or friends.

I think Guillermo Aristizabal deliberately avoided introducing me to his friends and family. I even wonder if I was his real "girlfriend" or if I was effectively his mistress that he was sleeping with on the side. Hence why I never met any of his family or friends.

In retrospect that should have been a big warning sign. What kind of man dates a woman for 4 months and doesn't introduce her to some of his friends or family?

The goal of Step Two is to see how he behaves around his family and friends. Does he behave like a jerk? Do his friends secretly hate him? Do they imply jokingly or not that he cheats a lot? Basically this is a testing ground to see if he is secretly a jerk and see how much of his jerkiness comes through when he is relaxed and around friends.

If he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends/family, proceed immediately to step five below.

STEP THREE - Be deliberately super late for a date sometime.

This is to test his patience and anger issues. If he is super angry about you being late, this is a guy worth dumping.

Guillermo Aristizabal always got angry - or at least upset - if I was ever late for a date. He would start freaking out and having a temper tantrum.

Your goal obviously it to test his patience/anger and see how he takes it. A laid back "down to earth" man would not be so worried about you being so late, especially if he really cares about you. But a jerk will just be a jerk about it.

STEP FOUR - Don't be in the mood for sex for once.

Shortly before I got pregnant there was an incident in which I wasn't in the mood for sex and Guillermo Aristizabal got really upset that he was "wasting his time even being there", which tipped me off that he was just there for the sex.

It wasn't long after that incident that I believe he got me pregnant on purpose and then dumped me while he was sleeping with my best friend. (He told her that I had dumped him and that he needed consoling... which was not true, he was just lying through his teeth.)

STEP FIVE - Once you realize he is a jerk, dump him immediately.

Don't wait to do it at a better time. Just dump him immediately and stop wasting your time with him.

Don't do what I did and think you can change him, to try and make him into a better person. You can't. Once a jerk, always a jerk.

Just dump him and get it over with.

STEP SIX - Warn other women about dating this jerk.

That is what I am doing now. Hence why I keep using Guillermo Aristizabal's name. Warning other women to make sure they don't end up dating this jerk. He is a cheater, a liar, and a jerk. I hope he dies old, alone, and lonely - just like a jerk like him deserves.

Dating Academic Cheaters

By Rebecca S. Mart


Why you should not date from cheaters, at the very least academic cheaters.

You have heard the old adage cheaters never prosper I’m sure. Well in the case of academic cheaters that use an essay writing company in Toronto it could not be truer. Not only are academic cheaters ‘not too smart’ in more ways than one, but the simple act of cheating can indicate some moral failings in a potential partner that are just not attractive.

Not Smart In The First Place

Let’s face it if you feel the need to cheat in the first place you must not be the smartest apple in the bunch and that's just not attractive. The need to cheat shows a lack of knowledge that only cheating can rectify. Back when I was in a Toronto high school I had a friend that was not too good in math. She felt the need to cheat on an algebra math test. She eventually got me to agree to cheat with her (I wrote a bunch of equations on the back of my calculator) and in we went thinking we had gotten one over on the teacher. So I am sitting down answering questions surreptitiously looking at the back of my calculator hoping that my teacher did not see me look. Then it dawned on me, I already know this stuff and looking at my calculator is slowing my down. I stopped cheating right then and there and never did it again. If you know it, you know it and you do not need to cheat.

Laziness Is The New Black, Or Not

Another reason to cheat is laziness. How hot is that? Not very. Too lazy to get up to do a little essay writing then too lazy to get up and help around the house, change that dirty diaper late at night and to lazy to make sure you are satisfied in bed. NO THANK YOU!!!

Not Smart Enough To Know That Cheating Will Not Help In The Long Run

If you have to cheat then you are not learning. Later on in life you will see the affects when you need to call on that knowledge and it is not there. I had a classmate in high school who was on the fast tract to one of the most prestigious business schools in Toronto, Canada. She was a serial cheater. She purposely missed class on test day in order to get the answers to the questions and then cheated on the test the next day. She had a 98% by the end of the year. The worst part was everyone knew she was cheating, even the teacher. But she finished the year and got in to that great school. Three months after university started this girl had dropped out of school and was working at the mall. That did not work out for her now did it? Do you want someone that works at the mall because they cheated on a test? Don’t think so.

Moral Equivocation

I can only imagine the moral equivocation that must take place in these people heads. Despite being told that it is wrong the cheat, that it is against the rules and could result in expulsion, cheaters still manage to cheat anyway. That takes a special type of equivocating that does not necessarily care about the consequences so much as the possible positive result of the act. I imagine that a cheater must say this to themselves:

“Well, it’s just one test, I’m not really hurting anyone.”

That can easily turn into “Well, it’s just one extra-martial affair, I’m not really hurting anyone.” Do you really want to take that chance?

Bottom line just stay away from cheaters. Nothing good can come from it.

An Essay on Cheating and Breaking Up

By Ai Lung Nguyen

If you have ever been cheated on then you know the cheating is often the biggest prelude to breaking up. Let me explain - in essay format - why this is.

First, cheating shows a lack of respect for the other person you are supposed to be in a romantic relationship with. It shows you don't respect the covenant of the relationship with them, that you don't respect their intelligence, and that you don't respect them to come to the realization you are cheating on them and then do something about it.

Second, cheating is a sign that the cheater is unhappy and doesn't want to be in the relationship. They would rather be with someone else, and therefore are sleeping with someone else. It is really just a matter of time before they decide to cut the cord and make it official.

Third, cheaters are often also big time liars. It is exceptionally rare for a cheater to be truthful about what they are doing. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is a liar? It is really just a matter of time before the lie is discovered and the lies pile up to the point that the proverbial relationship breaks.

Fourth, cheaters are cowards. They are too cowardly to "man up to it" and admit they are unhappy with the relationship they are currently in so they go seeking for enjoyment elsewhere. This cowardice is a vice that will ultimately lead to the relationship ending - often in a cowardly way, such as breaking up via text message, phone or email.

Fifth, cheaters suffer from a communication problem. They don't communicate their unhappiness, they don't communicate they want something or someone else, they don't communicate their own cowardice of the situation they are in. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors that causes couples to break up (that and lack of sex).

Sixth, cheaters often cheat using sex - which shows that they are probably very sexually active (likely a nympho or satyr) and they only got into the relationship because of their sexual appetite in the first place. But now that they are in the relationship they have determined that the person they are with isn't really sexually compatible. For whatever reason (cowardice, habit of lying, etc) they choose to find a new sexual partner to replace the current sexual partner before they even breakup the relationship.

Taken all together a single act of cheating on someone shows a clear direction towards an impending breakup - or in the case of an unhappy marriage, a divorce.

A happy marriage that has cheating it in might well become an unhappy marriage, which again later leads to divorce.

It is rare, in my opinion, that a marriage is strong enough to remain "happy" after an event of cheating has occurred and discovered.