The Pre Date Phone Call - Screening your Dates Beforehand = Judgement Time

Ah, the good ol' pre date phone call.

Ever done this?

Basically the person you are planning to have a first date with wants to hear the sound of your voice and have a conversation to see if you are compatible.

For me this is a great way to weed out people I would find exceptionally annoying to talk to in real life.

I will cite a specific example here:

"Samantha" called me up while I was having a texting conversation with her. Apparently she was getting impatient and wanted to speak with me right away. I didn't even get to finish my text about zombies. Oh well.

During the ensuing phone conversation I began to notice a number of annoying traits about this woman.

#1. She got upset way too easily, over even minor things. (Which means it is really easy to push her buttons.)

#2. She came off as a bit of a braggart and egotistical - which is never a desirable trait. (I am not perfect either, but I do have a decent sense of humility.)

#3. My talkativeness made her anxious and annoyed - as did my apparent ability to guess what she was about to say next. (Honestly, I have gotten very good at guessing what people will say next. If that is my superpower it is apparently an annoying one.)

#4. My impression was that she was both a hypocrite and very judgmental, stating that she doesn't like judgmental people - and yet was being judgmental herself. When I pointed this out later on she got very upset. And when I explained that "Everyone is judgmental all the time. When you pick up a piece of cheese you are judging whether it is good to eat." she tried to argue that people aren't constantly judging everything they see, hear, smell, etc. At which point I explained yes they are. Because their brain interprets the data they receive from all the senses / etc and then makes a judgment call based on what it knows already. "This cheese smells like bad cheese. Time to throw it out because I think it has gone bad." The cheese has been judged. Even if the cheese smelled good then it would still get a judgment, but then it would be a positive one. "This cheese smells good. Time to make grilled cheese sandwiches!"

By the time I had determined #4 I knew this woman was not for me - in fact I daresay she is probably a mental headcase who is not ready to be dating anyone for a long term period.

How do I know this? Because the conversation was reminding me of an ex I had several years ago who was so judgmental and argumentative that I eventually broke up with and the reason I gave for the breakup was because I was extremely unhappy whenever I was with her.

I am serious, she was making me miserable because I couldn't have a normal conversation with her without her starting an argument. (So if I was already getting this from a mere 50 minute phone call then it was a pretty bad sign this woman was not for me.)

I think it might have something to do with my parents arguing a lot when I was a kid - argumentative people, the kind who deliberately argue for the sake of arguing, really grate on my nerves.

Which is why I contend that Samantha (and other extremely argumentative women like her) are not suitable for dating anyone. No one. Period.

Same goes with men who have the same sort of personality.

Now you might think "Oh but it takes two to tango. You can't have an argument if only one person is arguing."

Yes, you can. Both my parents have done it many times and I have personally witnessed it many times. It only takes one person to start an argument - and then just need to be in a deliberately argumentative mood.

As opposed to a person who is simply argumentative ALL THE TIME.

What it makes me realize is that there should almost be some kind of CONVERSATION ETIQUETTE that we can teach people in order to make them socialize better and lead them away from their argumentative tendencies.

For example things like "Don't bring up politics, religion or abortion."

However at the same time if those topics are such a big deal maybe it is better to get them out of the way in an hurry. Get it over and done with. Rip the bandaid off in one swift motion.

This is why "Judgement Time" (as I like to call it) or the "Pre Date Phone Call" is such an awesome way to screen potential dates.

Especially if you realize the person on the other end is an egotistical braggart / hypocrite and you start deliberately pressing their buttons.

Which I wholly admit to. Near the end of the call I was deliberately (but politely) pushing her buttons to make her realize what a hypocritical jackass she was.

I can be a jackass too, but at least I admit to it. It is the phonies that irritate me.

Being judgmental is NOT a bad thing. Making judgment calls about potential romantic partners just means you are trying to gauge people and then make a decision. There is nothing wrong with that.

However I will say that you should never judge too quickly. Wait and see first. When in doubt you should always try to test out whether the other person truly is the jackass you suspect them to be before giving them the proverbial boot.

Lets just stay friends...

Have you ever noticed the number of couples who break up, one of them uses the lets just be friends speech, and then they never talk again?

I mean that speech is really just code for "lets never see each other ever again".

So why bother using it?

To let them down easy?

Utter lie.

The real reason is because the person doing the breakup speech is too gutless to tell the truth.

It is in essence a sign of a person who is too immature to tell the truth and is still stuck in a highschool dating mindframe where they would be seeing the other person at school regularly and thus would want to maintain a friendly relationship for appearances sake and to prevent possible complications / hateful rumours.

But if a person isn't in highschool any more then it is time to start telling the truth. Tell them why you are breaking up with them.

Eg. I want someone who looks different.

I want to meet someone who is more like me.

I like dating badboys who treat me like crap and you're too nice to be a badboy.

Etc.

Chewing Gum = Prepare to get Kissed

If a girl starts chewing gum near the end of a first date it means she is expecting the guy to kiss her.

It took me years to figure this one out so I am writing it down and passing on this bit of wisdom to you.

Which means, if you follow this logical reasoning that you can use chewing gum as a way to determine whether the girl wants to be kissed at the end of the date...

Here goes...

The date seems to be going well and it is near the end. The guy reaches into his pocket and offers the girl a piece of chewing gum. He then takes one for himself.

If the girl accepts the gum it means she is worried her breathe might smell bad and she has every intention of kissing you before the end of the first date.

If she refuses the gum... Yeah, your chances just dropped suddenly. Maybe she doesn't like gum, or doesn't like the flavour you offered her... so it is possible she still wants to kiss you, but the chances are likely that she won't since most women on a date are going to be self-conscious about possible bad breath.

If she takes out the gum first - and even offers you one - well that is a clear signal right there!

Note also that chewing gum also signals she may not just want a simple kiss on the lips - she is more likely to be wanting french kissing!

Advice for First Dates

By Daniel Mermelstein

Alright, you got through the awkwardness of picking someone up.  You’ve set a date, a time, and a location.  Now what? I asked experienced daters around me what goes through their minds when getting ready for a first date.  Apparently, it’s the hair.

Commonly portrayed in high school comedies, romantic comedies, and comedies in general, many of us know that women can spend extraordinary amounts of time fixing their hair.  And many of us know how late for a date it can sometimes make them.

However, when I questioned my female interviewees I found that the guy’ hair is also an important factor.  For women, hair is a major indicator of how a man will treat himself, and possibly them.  It gives women insight into our personality.  One interviewee was careful to point out: “Too much gel isn’t cool.  You don’t want someone who puts more work into their hair than you do.”  So dudes, if it’s been a couple days and you’re wondering whether you should shower and comb, the shower is a good start.  The combing I’ll leave to your discretion.

As for men, well, it’s shape; body as well as face.  Physique is what makes us take notice, but conversation is what holds us in place.  My male references were also quick to point out that posture is very noticeable.   How a woman holds herself is a personality tip to those around her, and to those looking to get closer.

Both sexes expressed the concern of conversation.  It seems to be everyone’s fear that they will run out of subjects to talk about and enter a period of awkward silence.  That is unlikely to happen if you’re on a date with someone you know, but if it’s someone totally new it is a possibility.  I say don’t fear the silence; if it’s awkward, then maybe that’s a sign of incompatibility; if the silence is appropriate, then maybe they know something of talking, or not, when the moment is right.

A specific tip from the guys to other men was to yes, get ready for it, actually talk to your date.  It’s true, we have very pretty faces, but most of the time both of you need more than good looks to keep it going past the first sixty seconds.  Humor is a great invention; use it well.  Jock humor might have worked in high school, but when you’re 25 and making fun at someone else’s expense you tend to look like a shallow fool.

Teasing, on the other hand, is great for building sexual tension.  There is a distinction.

An example which can be put to use by either sex is based on a concern that was voiced by whoever was on the receiving end of the first date:  Am I dressing appropriately?  To whichever person is doing the asking out, not telling your date exactly where you’re going can lead to an exciting surprise, but you are allowed to give them a hint as to what to wear.  That way they will feel more comfortable with putting themselves in your guiding hands.

As for behavior; to the men: be respectful.  Pay attention to the details, because many women do, and will appreciate that you notice their effort; however, I’m not saying compliment them on every item of their clothing.  I mean if your date has put some extra effort into preparing for the event, let them know you’ve noticed; you don’t necessarily have to make a compliment: “So tell me, how long did that hairdo take?”.

Behavioral tips for women:  many of you like to talk.  A lot.  This is acceptable, as long as you are also interested in getting to know your date.  You can do this by following your anecdote with a sincere “Has anything like that ever happened to you?” or “Now tell me about your family.  Are your family reunions as crazy as mine?”.  Believe it or not, there are men in the world who are have lives as well, and would like a minute or two to tell you about them and thus make you a part of it.

In ending, think of this: everyone wants to share.  They may think that others don’t want to listen, and so they hold back.  You want to make your date feel comfortable enough that they will want to be themselves around and in front of you, and not be wondering what is or isn’t acceptable to you.  So be a man, be confident, secure, and pay attention to what she does.  Be a woman; let him have his say and include him in your conversation, and let him think he’s in control.

Best Breakup Line Ever!

Imagine you are a man and you are in a relationship based on sex - and you'd rather breakup with this person you are having sex with. (Possibly because they are annoying all the time.)

So how do you breakup with them?

Well, number one, you do it by text. You make it clear that way that the relationship you have is too impersonal and meaningless.

Number two. Your text needs to make it clear that there are other things you'd rather be doing than having sex with them.

So what is the best breakup line ever?

Wait for it...

Wait...

"I really should be doing work tonight. If you are coming over for sex then it is $30 per hour."

Now remember, this is a man saying this to a woman.

Women are not going to pay for sex. Not usually. Extremely rare circumstances.

Ergo, she sees this and realizes this man has little interest in having sex with her and is only willing to do it for money. Now I suppose, if she needed it all the time, then she might be willing to pay for it regularly.

Now I admit, when used in practice this breakup line is more likely to confuse the woman who is being dumped. She might even think you are desperate for money.

In which case she will ask for an explanation.

"Its just not doing it for me. Its more like a chore and I don't feel any romance with you. I still enjoy it, obviously, but there are other things I really should be doing. So if you really want it that bad I figure you should pay for my time and effort.

Or alternatively...

"I don't want a romantic relationship with you and since you are just using me for sex then I should get paid for it."

So yeah.

She might get upset. Or just confused. Or maybe she will be relieved because now she can go find a real relationship that isn't based on physical friction so much.

OTHER BREAKUP LINES YOU MIGHT CONSIDER

“I have only still been seeing you because I felt obliged to, and if we were right for each other, neither of us should feel like that.”
“I love you toooooo much, it’s driving me mad.”
“Sorry for the long silence…I have personal issues lately…Happy Friday!“
“I just can’t take the bad sex anymore”.
“Honestly? It’s you not me, you’re just too perfect for someone else. And I’m perfect for the girl on Facebook.”
“You’re perfect in every way, just not for me.”
“I get so emotional when you’re not around…That emotion is called happiness.”
“Oh, sorry but l am going to my brother’s wedding and you are not invited….”
“It’s not you. You’re fine, lovely in fact, and much smarter than me. It’s just I want to pursue younger women.”
“Maybe this break up will be good for you, since you’ve never really experienced pain before.”
“I enjoy your company, fancy you like crazy, and love having sex with you, but I don’t love you and I never will.”
“The problem with our relationship is, we’re in a relationship.”
“Just the fact that you had to sit me down and talk about our communication problems means that were not going to work out, and we should end our relationship.”
“I can’t believe you won’t let me go to a strip club in Vegas. This shows you really don’t care about me.”
“Really, our time together has just become more effort than you’re worth.”
“You care too much about celebrities.”
“I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you’re not.”
“I don’t want to have to go on holiday to see my girlfriend. It’s just not fun anymore.”
“You’re not Mr. Right – just Mr. Right Now.”
“Before you were still a mystery and now you need to be history.”
“I’m just not feeling ‘it’ so I want a divorce.”
“If only I were in love with just one girl, not two.”
“I love you but I’m not in love with you so I guess I’m more of a lesbian than we thought.”
“Hmmm, I am not sure that I want to do this anymore…”
“You have your own life. You have a job. You can’t sleep with me in my bed every night. I really don’t even like her but she lets me drink.”
“I want to have fun and I’m not ready to carry a burden through my youth.”
“You have an irrational (emotional) intensive feeling for me which frightens me.”
“I just can’t come up tonight. This whole thing is just making me ill.”
“I have these spirit guides and as I drove home today they were telling me very strongly that we live too far apart and it’s never going to work.”
“Ideally, I would like to write my book, and once I finish I’ll give you an answer as to whether we will be together or not.”
“You don’t engage me anymore”.
“I bought my baby’s mama an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day. Since this is the last time we’ll be together, I hope you want to get real freaky.”
“I need to see other women to prove to myself that my love for you is genuine.”
“She said that she was better for me than you, so I had no choice but to defend our love and prove her wrong…You should be thanking me for this.”
“I’ll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow.”
“I just don’t think we’re ‘suitable’ suitable”.
“I need to tell you that someone from my past has come back into my life. I knew her years ago but there were so many things that interfered with her and I having a relationship that could not be overcome, but that has passed and now she and I are making another attempt.”
“You’re Muslim, and I’m Hindu, this is never going to work, I’m sorry.”
“I’m making a changes in my life that don’t include you. I’m sorry. I love you but I’m going through a quarter life crisis right now. You know I’m not going to live much longer because all prodigies die young.”
“Isn’t six and a half years long enough?”
“You know how Fromm talks about love being an active process? Well, I’m afraid love didn’t even grow. I’m looking for a Soulmate and you’re not her.”
“It just fizzled out, I am sorry. We are still buds, just not like before, I can’t do it.”
“Please understand that I care for you deeply, but need to finalize my thoughts with her good or bad – for my sake. But I would still like to take you to lunch and call you if that is OK with you. I just can’t see you right now.”
“I was asked to make a choice. If I had not been asked, I may have chosen differently”.
“I am having a disruption in my professional life (leaving job), so I thought that I may as well have a disruption in my personal life.”
“My ‘friend’ has asked me to move in with her and I’ve agreed, is it alright if I move out on Saturday?”
“My dick is committed to you, but my heart is not.”
“You are the only really good girl I’ve ever met, I will probably never meet anyone like you again. You are really marriage material. If we stay together, we will get married in a few years, BUT I’m not sure I am ready to commit to one person.”
“I just can’t handle the distance…I’m so sorry.”
“This isn’t easy and neither are you…I’m breaking up with you.”
“I just don’t know how much longer I can do this charade that I am happy with the relationship as it is.”
“Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab.”
“I’d like to think that I just need some time, because I really miss you, but really I never loved you and I miss everyone else”.
“I love you. I love hanging out with you. You are so easy to live with. I want everything to remain the same except the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.”
“You’re an investment with no return.”
“I know that if I continue seeing you that you that I will want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I’m not ready for that, so I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“Yes, I thought we were getting to the point in our relationship where I might start to fall in love with you, but your insecurities about how I feel about you have made it clear that I can never fall in love with you.”
“You’re a great guy, but I have so much baggage, and right now I have more bad days than good days…it wouldn’t be fair to subject you to that.”
“I still care about you, but I just don’t find my heart jumping out of my chest when I see you anymore.”
“I have lost all romantic feelings for you completely, and I desire no future relationship with you.”
“She’s exactly like you used to be – before you became a bitch.”
“I think you love me more than I love you.”
“Bad news, I met someone last night, and as I neither want to cheat on you nor bull**** you, we should keep seeing us as ‘friends’ only,…if it is OK for you?”
“I’m looking for a long-term relationship and I just can’t pursue that with you.”
“I think we both rushed into this relationship so fast but forgot to get to know each other. We should have taken our time. You can’t fall in love in two months but we were so keen to try.”
“We both have some of the qualities we want, but not all of them. I want nothing or easier.”
“I really feel that we have major differences…I like playing the accordion, and growing roses…you don’t.”
“The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you.”
“We’ve both grown up and changed, I love you, but that kind of love has changed, and it’s not the kind you want from me. I want us to be closest friends instead.”
“I feel like I’m changing, and though I do love you and I really like spending time with you, I’m not as ‘in love’ with you anymore..”
“I don’t think you have it in you to be a good mother. When I thought about marrying you, I only thought about whether you’d make a good wife…I didn’t think about whether you’d make a good mother too.”
“I don’t want the responsibility of someone else’s happiness.”
“I’m really sorry to have messed you about, but being with you has made me realise that I am gay and I can’t string you along anymore.”
“I feel alive when I am with her, but I am very grateful to you.”
“If you were about to say that you just wanted fun and no labels, I’d want to continue. But I think you want more.”
“You just know me too well, and that freaks me out. You know what I am going to do before I do it, so I can’t do anything.”
“I have no empathy for you just contempt and I think about suicide rather than staying with you.”
“Really, it’s not you, I’m just going through a selfish phase…”
“We don’t make each other happy, is that what you want to hear?”
“I feel like this break up has made our relationship so much stronger.”
“I really like you, you’re a lovely woman and we have great fun – you’re just not a long-term prospect.”
“Maybe we have too much in common. We are too much alike.”
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m breaking up with you. I just can’t be in a relationship with you anymore.”
“I know it took me two years to finally get you out on a date, but now I’m feeling tied down…”
“I just can’t live with the pathetic tickles that you call ‘sexual thrusts’ anymore.”
“I’m leaving you. Do you want me to go tonight or tomorrow?”

Building Stronger Relationships Towards LOVE

Want to build a stronger and healthier relationship? Follow the following tips and you will find you both develop feelings of love faster and are more open about communicating.

1. Relax Optimistically

Having a relax mind about the person with whom you are interested in relationship will help you to build a strong trust and relationship. When you feel comfortable with others, then they will feel comfortable with you. If you are interested in relationship don’t be nervous because a nervous person can’t achive his destiny and the partner will easily sense that and they will withdraw from relationships.

It is common when we meet a online friend in real world, but have a brighten face which will attract the friend you are meeting and also persons around. In this world each and every person are interested in meeting other singles who are having fun and joy. That is the reason why we are trying to make friendship and relationship. When you are meeting a long lost friend your face will glow in joy and shine like a sun because the friend you’re meeting is your best friend. When you have that face to the new friend they will feel happy and comfortable to have a friendship or relationship with you. Here I would like to introduce a secret to you for getting a brighten face.

SMILE, nothing can beat a smile, it make your face to glow in joy. We are interested to meet a girl/ guy who is has a smile in his face. We won’t turn to a person who don’t know how to smile. So smile is a biggest way to get an instant glow in your face and you will get relaxed in mind too. When your smile reciprocates by partner then your heart will smile and that gives a bonding with the partner you are having relationship.

2. Listen Deeply

Relaxing your mind and smileing gives a start to build trust with each other but when you listen to the words and messages of your partner then it will create unexplainable joy to the heart of your friend or partner. Share their thoughts by listening to their words.

Allow them to speak, In a successful relationship between any two persons there will be a lot of communication and sharing. Before building trust no person will tell their secrets but when you listen to them with heart then they will open their heart wide for accommodating you into that place. Listening creates an emotional feelings to person who is communicating. Friendship and relationships are tied with a bond of emotion not with a bond of appearance.

Listen to your partner or friend with heart, listen deeply with emotional feeling. You will listen carefully when you place yourself in the place of your partner. Feel their emotions and the body psotures. Body language reveals a lot of messages to the outside world. There is a lot of books available in bookstores which teach you the body language.

When you feel your partner is in need offer a hand of help, which makes your bonds strong with each other. Friendship and relationship (An affair with your love) is beyond parenting. You can’t share some secrets with your parents but with your friend. This kind of sharing will come when they feel comfortable and trust on you. To get this relationship and friendship you need to listen carefully.

3. Feel Empathetically

As I said earlier feeling or seeing the other person’s perspective without seeing your own belief is empathetic. In friendship or relationship you must see the perspective point of the person who is sharing the problem rather than your own point. It leads to two way communication between you both. When you feel their mistakes as yours then there will be the birth for solutions.

When your partner realize that you know the mistakes of them and still you are respecting them and sharing excitement during their victory, encouragement and support during their difficulty will build trust on you because you are looking into the person’s heart, not looking into mistakes. If you are not at all looking into mistakes of other person, it will lead you to difficulty. Rather correct them when they are doing small mistakes and forget that mistakes, this gives a double times trust on you because you are trying to correct the person but not leaving the person. Empathy will build a strong relationship and friendship with trust.

4. Respond Carefully

Emotions create good and also bad.

Emotionally motivated persons will do good and wrongs because they relates everything with emotions. When you are emotionally charged choose your words correctly. If you’re not correct in your words then the trust you built till that moment will shatter into pieces which is unrecoverable. So choose your words and emotions carefully.

Showing your emotions without understanding the other person mood will also create problems, so understand the person’s mood and needs. As I said words can build or destroy trust on you. When they are sad make them to come up by your words, which will build trust, but when they are happy and you speak about their past mistakes without intention will destroy trust on you immediately.

Before responding to a question listen deeply and analyze them deeply in your heart. Reply them with your view ans solution back to them carefully. When you respond back to them use their words rather than your words which will create an feeling that you have listened their words and problems which again gives trust on you.

5. Compliment Them

Compliment, a small word which does miracles. None in this world hates compliment because it gives joy to your heart that they appreciate us for our work. Compliment them whenever possible. Appreciating a person is like walking on top of a knife. When you over-compliment them they will think as you are teasing thme rather than appreciating their work, which will back fire you. So compliment them with some limit. Share their joy and sarrows with you also. A response can be encouraging or discouraging, but a limited compliment will encourage others and they get trust on you. Guys you can try with a girl with following words ” Hey _____( fill with that person name), You look gorgeous and stunning.”, it may be true or false but that girl with whom you are trying will like you. And gals you try the same with guys, guys will follow you and do anything for you people. This is the power of compliment. Each and every person loves compliment.

6. Synchronize Cooperatively

Synchronizing!!!

Hmmm what is synchronizing, A true and trusting friendship and relationship will happen when both friends interest and activities lies in same frequency. if you act like your partner and if they act like your activities then it creates a strong bond of friendship or relationship because everyone want to mate with those have their interest. When two same interest collides there will be a discussion and fun. if two opposite interest collides there will be a major accident happens. When two interest or views meet each other then there will be another view which will be a mix of both and we share our picture on it. Rachel and john are friends who have same interest of rock music, then they will share music first then they share their friendship, same time if Rachel has a rock music interest and John has a classical music interest they can’t share music rather they share wrongs and criticism.

Synchronizing your partner's interest is more important. Not every human is having same interest, you need to find common interest of your partner and try to develop with that. There is a possibility of sharing friendship with two different interest people. In this case there both never share their own interest rather they try to learn their partners interest which also gives a strong bonding, because you are trying to synchronize with your partner interest. Relationship require a cooperative action to survive in the minds. When you are not cooperative they never feel comfortable with you which is the base of creating strong relationships.

When relationships mature, then the values of the couple also changes. You need to be flexible with your partner by understanding the changes and goals. Without cooperative actions a relationship will not survive for a long time.

7. Act Authentically

Authentically means acting with your values. In simple words Be Yourself. When you are not like yourself. being yourself is not by appearance but by heart. Be yourself like when you are without no one. Don’t create any false appearance with others which will not create a trusting bond in your relationship and it never helps your relationship in any way. False face will not survive for a long time, for making it to survive you need to do a lot wrongs which tells you that you are not true in your friendship or relationship.

When you act like yourself you are honest to yourself and also to others which will never make you as wrong rather it gives you respect among others. Say what you can do and do what you say, be a man of words. When you are standing on your words your partner will trust you and your words. Be clear in your relationship, and find what your partner needs from your relationships. This will give you a clear mind rather than a confused mind. when you are clear by your mind you will feel relaxed and comfortable in your relationship.

8. Acknowledge Generously

When you need relationship look positive qualities of others rather than looking bad qualities. Acknowledgement from another person will register that person in brain or mind for a long time. That figure will not forget or diminish in the mind. Acknowledge them for their good qualities, Don’t overlook bad qualities of others.

Show your gratitude and encouragement by words and actions to your partner. Encourage them when they are in difficulties, support them when they are in need, These are all some kind of acknowledging problems of them and providing hands for help. When heart registers us as we are there for helping at anytime heart never feel depressed rather it shares its problem like river of flood. Sharing problems comes only after your relationship is built with strong base and trust.

To start strong relationship the above mentioned are like the tip of an iceberg. There is a lot of qualities which we need to find ourselves because they differ from each person to person. To start take a piece of paper and write down all your qualities whether good or bad, check yourself which can be used. By doing this you will find yourself which brings your inner-self. When your inner-self is out you can validate yourself into relationship you want.

5 Tips to Become a Lady Magnet

Are you interested in attracting women like magnets in your singles life?

Have you ever wondered how Bad Boys manage to attract women so easily by behaving like jerks?

Its because women's brains are hard-wired to be attracted to Alpha-Males - and thus specific behaviour causes women to be instantly attracted to any man who exhibits Bad Boy / Alpha Male traits.

Here's how...

1: Never Settle for Just Any Woman

The biggest mistake you can possibly make in any relationship is to settle for whatever woman comes along for fear you can’t do any better than what you have! Doing this will prevent you from ever finding the woman you are truly meant to be with. It is difficult to take a leap of faith, especially in matters of the heart, but settling to be with a woman that doesn’t “do it for you” is a HUGE mistake…for you both! Do NOT settle for just any woman hold out for someone that you really connect with and live the life of your dreams! Believe it or not, women admire men who know what they want and won’t settle for anything less. It is a major turn on!

2: Apply the Laws of Attraction

This subject has been poked, prodded, turned upside down and inside out. It is contained within every magazine and book and research paper on the subject of love that you will ever run across. As a relationship expert myself, I have an entire wall of books dedicated to this subject alone, and more books and articles and theories are created every day around the globe on the differences between men and women regarding their particular triggers for attraction. It is right under your nose, every day, everywhere…on TV, out in public, you name the place…it’s right there staring you down! Yet unbelievably, there are STILL people who are completely clueless about the Laws of Attraction.
Now, this is not to say that the Laws of Attraction are good or right or even tolerable at times. But, there are certain inalienable truths about attraction that you need to know and understand if you desire to become successful in any romantic relationship.

What are the Laws of Attraction? Simply put, Men and Woman are polar opposites when it comes to attraction. Men initially feel sexual attraction based upon a woman’s physical appearance, which then leads them into a desire for a relationship. But, women are initially attracted to a man’s qualities. Sure, women will admire a man’s looks, but that doesn’t lead them into a desire for a relationship with him. It’s when a man exhibits confidence in his body language and communication–regardless of his looks–that women feel a powerful sexual attraction that over shadows the man’s physical attributes.

3: Don’t Be Too Nice

Of course, everyone knows that being “nice” is considered socially acceptable in the world. But, women do not choose a lover based upon how nice they may be – that’s how they choose their friends. Being “NICE” just isn’t what ignites the flames of passion. What does ignite the flames? Attraction. What is attractive? Confidence in one’s self! Use positive body language, take meaningful actions, and be your genuine self without regard to what others may think of you. This doesn’t mean you should act like a jerk, because no one likes a jerk either. It simply means that in order to attract a woman, you MUST be confident in yourself.

4: Convincing a Woman To Like You is a Big No-No!

Do not waste any of your valuable time trying to convince a woman that doesn’t appear interested in you romantically that you are the person they are meant to be with. It will NEVER work, and in fact, may backfire on you in a most embarrassing way. Why is this? Because you can’t change the way a person “feels.” You can try to understand and you can offer alternative points of view, but you cannot change their feelings. To make matters worse, when faced with the knowledge that a woman doesn’t “feel” attracted to them, some men often take ridiculous action to convince them otherwise-they will relentlessly pursue the woman without regard for her lack of “feelings.” Spare yourself this tragedy and move on to the next lady in line, who might just “feel” attracted to you-an absolute necessity to a fulfilling relationship!

 5: Seeking Her Approval is a Waste of Time

It is completely adverse to human nature for a woman to desire a man who seems to actively pursue her approval. Psychologically, it instills in a woman’s mind that the man is automatically not worthy of her attention, and no matter what you do to gain the woman’s approval…you will always be considered less than worthy. ALWAYS! The simple truth is that you will lack the necessary confidence in yourself in order to succeed in gaining the attraction you seek. Now, this does not mean you should completely ignore a woman’s approval-just that, instead, you need to gain it through self confidence. NOT by seeking her approval of you!

How to Find Happiness and True Love

Can you find happiness and true love in a relationship?

Are you looking for a partner to make you happy or complete you?

Is your relationship less than satisfactory and you are wondering how to improve it?

Often we find it impossible to meet our dream guy or find happiness with a man simply because we are looking in the wrong place.

When we look for love, we proceed to look for someone whom we find loveable. Then we try to train him to be the person that we want him to be – a person whom we can continue to love.

How do we do this? Usually, by creating a scene and letting him know how upset we are when he doesn’t behave as we wish. By this he learns that when he exhibits this behaviour we won’t be pleased and we are certainly going to let him know it in the future.

If he’s the type of guy that wants to make us happy, then he stops doing it. Or perhaps he just goes underground and does it in secret next time. Either way, he is probably going to feel some resentment towards us.

When our guy is loveable i.e. he is doing what we want and acting in accordance with our wishes and beliefs, then we find it easy to love him. But there are also the times that we find this difficult. When he is not being loveable, we may find ourselves feeling critical of him or even harbouring unpleasant negative feelings. We may even want him to suffer, because after all, he has made us suffer, hasn’t he?

So, how do we turn this less than satisfactory situation into true love and happiness? Well the first step is realising that a man cannot make you happy, no matter how much he wants to or you want him to. Whilst you will feel happiness with your partner at times, another person will never complete you. You see, happiness is a state of mind and comes from within.

You can see this by considering how you may react to the same situation depending on how you feel at the time. Imagine your man comes home from work and he has had a bad day. You ask him to take out the garbage and he completely ignores you. As he slumps in the chair in front of the TV you can see that he is feeling bad and you rush over to help soothe his feelings.

Now, the same thing happens on another day. Only this time you’ve had a bad day yourself. This time, you were hoping for some comfort from him. When he ignores you, you feel neglected and unloved. You let him know how you feel and an argument ensues. Communication breaks down and the rest of the evening is ruined.

So, now we have established that a man is not able to make us happy. Happiness comes from within and is about you making the choice to be happy despite your external circumstances.

It is about taking responsibility for your own feelings and not expecting your man to conform to everything that you want. It is not about the perfect relationship but about focusing on the positives in the relationship rather than the negatives.

It is very hard to love someone else unless you love yourself first. This is because the way you love your man is a reflection of your own needs and beliefs around love and how it should or shouldn’t be.

Unconditional acceptance of yourself as well as your partner is the only way to find unconditional love in your life. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should put up with a partner who treats you badly.

So, yes you can find happiness in a relationship. But only if you are happy on your own first. If you are looking for love then you must start by loving yourself. Unless you can do this you will never be able to allow love in fully.

You must take responsibility for your own happiness by examining your own beliefs and reactions and how they serve you. And you must accept your man and allow him to be the person he is. Only when all these things come together with a man who loves you and wants to make you happy will you be able to say that you have found true love.

Lots of Single Chinese Women can't find a husband

China has a lot of single women in between the ages of 27 and 35 who can't find a husband.

Why you ask?

Because Chinese men prefer to marry younger women... preferably attractive women. So what has happened is that the younger women who are less attractive end up going to university and get their Masters or PhD and by the time they graduate they are about 27 or so.

But by that point they are no longer considered desirable because they're too old - even though they may have blossomed and become more attractive during those years.

Being single and between the ages of 27 and 35 is a big no-no in Chinese culture. There is a lot of pressure for women in this age group to get married and have a kid. Pressure from parents, from friends, and from society.

But Chinese men are too busy chasing after younger women who are 18 to 26 and attractive, and thus the vicious cycle continues.

A Chinese woman who is a confident, personable, has a good salary job, lives in her own apartment, has a MA from one of China’s top universities, and a wealth of friends - but can't get a date to save her life because "27 is too old".

The Chinese government even has a name for these single, urban, educated women in China. They are called “sheng nu” or “leftover women” — and it bites.

It’s an odd label in a country with a surplus of single young men. (Due to China's one child policy many families choose to have a boy instead of a girl and parents often do late term abortions in an effort to have a boy. Decades of this policy has left China with a lot of young men who are all fighting over a small handful of attractive women.

The phenomenon is so cultural there is even a television drama that ran a couple of years ago called “Old Women Should Get Married”. Not kidding, that was the title! The plot featured a 33-year-old woman who watched her younger sister get married, suffered through blind dates (including one who turned out to be a drug dealer), and put up with her family constantly telling her to stop being so picky and just find a man.

It wasn't a comedy. It was more like a soap opera - but without the evil twin brothers.

This kind of cultural message gets hammered in multiple ways in China’s state-run media. Even the webpage of the government’s supposedly feminist All-China Women’s Federation used to feature articles about leftover women – until enough women complained and told them to stop doing that because its annoying.

Its reached a point where the cultural stigma is so bad that more government interference on the problem (the proverbial lime light) is only making the issue worse.

Since 2007, the Chinese state media have aggressively used the term "leftover women", in surveys, and news reports, and columns, in cartoons and pictures. They are deliberately stigmatizing educated women over the age of 27 or 30 who are still single.

As if it is somehow the women's fault that men keep going over after younger women.

The simple fact is that the gender imbalance in China is one of too many men. There are an estimated 20 million extra men under the age of 30 than there is women under 30. That is 20 million extra men who will either not get married, or go chasing after younger women as the men get older and older.

So its only going to get worse unless the men either get desperate enough to start thinking older and educated, or they are just going to have to stick their "hand best friend". (Any bets on how many millions of single Chinese men are jerking off right now? Difficult to say, p*rnography in China is illegal - So they're probably jerking off to lingerie catalogues.)

Its not just the matter of marrying younger / attractive women either.

Men in China also prefer to marry uneducated women in an effort to get a woman they feel superior to and can more easily control. The same thing happens here in North America too. Men are intimidated by educated women who can think for themselves.

When it comes to education men in China want to marry women who are slightly less educated than themselves. The concept is essentially explained as a matter of quality:

“There is an opinion that A quality guys will find B quality women, B quality guys will find C quality women, and C quality men will find D quality women,” Huang says. “The people left are A quality women and D quality men. So if you are a leftover woman, you are A quality.”

So if you are a woman and get As in your grades in school and university, you are automatically considered to be less attractive.

The Chinese population planning policy used to officially have a law promoting eugenics... They actually had the word ‘eugenics’ in the name of the policy. Since then they've changed the name, but the family planning policy is still behind the times by about 40 years.

The state-run media keeps up a barrage of messages aimed at picky educated women. Here’s one translated title:

“Leftover Women Do Not Deserve Our Sympathy.”

“Pretty girls do not need a lot of education to marry into a rich and powerful family. But girls with an average or ugly appearance will find it difficult. These girls hope to further their education in order to increase their competitiveness. The tragedy is, they don’t realize that as women age, they are worth less and less. So by the time they get their MA or Ph.D, they are already old – like yellowed pearls.”

However I think I should point out something.

There are plenty of men in Canada and the USA (myself included) who would be willing to marry these educated Chinese women. Judging by the photos I've found of China's "leftover women" some of them are very attractive and men in North America probably aren't as intimidated by women who also have brains.

If China doesn't want these women, send them over here!

Breaking Up With An Overly Attached Girlfriend

Relationship dating humour from "Jimmy".

College Relationships

In the video below CollegeHumor tackles the topic of the types of people you meet in college/university and what it is like dating them.

Three Dates Equals Sex

Three Dates Equals Sex is the social standard in Western culture whereby on the 3rd or 4th date the new couple start having sex.

It is not a rule, but it is an unspoken standard. If a couple doesn't start having sex by the end of the third date it usually means that they are not compatible and the relationship will soon end during the "Lets Just Be Friends Speech".

Rushing to sex on the first date can sometimes become an One Night Stand (or a lasting relationship, both are possible).

Having sex on the 2nd date is still considered too fast.

The Third Date is the socially accepted point where it is not only okay to have sex but encouraged because if a couple do not then there is something wrong.

Not all people follow the social standard of Three Dates Equals Sex. Typically non-practitioners are more religious, such as Muslim or Christian women will want a longer time period before having sex. Some super traditional women will even insist on having sex on their wedding night, but that tradition is considered very old world and impractical since many divorces are caused by a faulty sex life. It is the accepted practice that couples get to know each other sexually to make certain they are sexually compatible before getting in a long term relationship.

If a couple is waiting until the 4th date or later there can also be a lot more stress on the sex being "really good" because if it is not then the relationship may end really abruptly due to sexual incompatibility. In contrast on the 3rd date the standards are a bit lower and people aren't so stressed out if they were not perfect together on the first time.

Note - Some women don't achieve orgasm the first time they have sex with a new man. They are used to do this and it is largely the result of nervousness / inability to relax and has nothing to do with his sexual prowess. Some people will also claim that this is normal for all women and that most women fake their orgasms the first time, however less than half of women report faking their orgasms ever so such a claim cannot be true.

Men will feel more pressure to perform well in bed if there has been a huge delay before the couple's first sexual encounter. If they don't do well the woman may decide to end the relationship due to sexual incompatibility and men, logically, want to make certain their skills in bed are not undervalued.

The same goes for women. If a woman doesn't perform well in bed that first time - and stress on this will be increased dramatically if there has been a large delay - then she may find herself dumped in a hurry if the man feels she wasted his time and didn't live up to expectations. Whether the woman knows she is being judged is important. This is apparently a contributing factor for why some women fake their orgasms the first time because they know they are being judged.

Some women, due to relationship inexperience, may not know that they are being judged on sexual performance or may not even know about the Three Dates Equals Sex standard.

Same goes for men. Although the prevalence of men who lack experience with relationships / sex is more limited to very ugly / obese men. Unattractive women in contrast have less problems having sexual partners because they can always attract a man with low self esteem. Thus most "40 year old virgins" are men.

CONCLUSIONS

Knowing that Three Dates Equals Sex is the standard can be quite important. A lot of people have different expectations for when to have sex. Eg. Some men prefer to have sex by the 2nd date and if they don't they don't bother with a 3rd. And likewise some women prefer to wait until the 4th date.

Thus many relationships end early due to women wanting to wait longer then men. The third date is the accepted compromise.

Which means that if someone breaks up with you before the 3rd date that they may have found you so unappealing that they didn't want to have sex with you. At the same time, not breaking up with them but still going on a 4th or 5th date, without having sex, would be a classic example of "Leading Them On".

Note: Most people these days "Go Dutch" when it comes to dating, meaning they split the costs. If they aren't splitting the cost, eg. the man pays for everything, then women will then feel pressured to have sex with the man. It is a weird paradox in which women who are conservative are essentially prostitutes.

ADVICE

Aim to have sex by the end of the 3rd or make the 4th date at one of your homes, where its implied that its time for some physical intimacy. If you go too fast or too slow in your relationships you will eventually realize it is like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The third date is the right timing.

How to Fake It and get into their Pants

There are lots of books out there selling tricks designed to help men get into the pants of women.

Honestly, it largely comes down to acting sincere.

And sincerity is pretty hard for some men to master.

Basically it comes down to things like...

Looking into a woman's eyes and actually paying attention to what she is saying (instead of ogling her breasts).

Actually listening to what she is talking about and pretending to be interested.

Showing positive body language that shows you are interested in every word she says (instead of fidgeting with your cellphone, playing with your ring or hair, staring off into the distance...).

Make her the centre of your attention - not her body, but her mind first.

Be considerate and polite and show her that you are there for her and her alone. (And rescue kittens in trees, help elderly people across the street etc.)

Basically it is a long list of things like that designed to trick women into thinking this man is for real, he really does like her, that he really does care, listen, is kind, considerate, polite and the perfect man.

Taken all together and assuming she is the least bit attracted to the man, this combination of things will cause most women [by most I mean the vast majority of them, the exact percentage is unknown because it can't be scientifically proven] to be wanting to jump the poor guy before the date is over.

In contrast are much easier to seduce.

Or at least unmarried men. Married men and men who are in a committed loving relationship (practically married) are no doubt much harder because you also need to provide extreme temptation and assurance that they will not get caught.

Otherwise it is pretty simple because men are so simple.

#1. Flirt with him, show some cleavage, try to touch his arm or leg and he will get the hint.

#2. Suggest that the two of you go someplace private.

#3. If his blood is red and he doesn't have anything physically wrong with him he should be hot to trot and ready to ride.

In contrast there is no shortage of how to books on seduction of women - not because women are complicated, but because men are clueless.

What to talk about during a First Date

Number 10: Avoid talking about their past

Generally speaking, one should never ask about past lovers on a first date. In fact, this should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). She might have been hurt or may still be in love with her ex. You also prefer to start with a clean slate, so becoming chummy with her and comforting her about past mistakes may not be the greatest strategy on the first date.

Number 9: Got any brothers or sisters?

Usually, a safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings (but don't ask her if she's got cute sisters). Asking about her parents could backfire if they divorced or separated, especially when she was very young. But sisters and brothers usually trigger good feelings and score points for you, since you're showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.

Number 8: Traveled anywhere special?

A tricky way to spark a girl's interest is by asking about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future. The upside is that if she mentions a spot she always wanted to visit, lo and behold, here comes the knight in shining armor (that's you, boy) who offers to make her dreams come true one day by taking her there. This also provides each of you with some insight about the other's cultural background and openness to new adventures.

Number 7: Drinks, anyone?

A topic of conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drinks each of you prefers. Not only can you gauge whether or not you share culinary preferences, but the potential topics are endless and provide you with a safe topic of conversation -- unless, of course, you are dating someone with an addiction to food or alcohol.

Number 6: Any career plans?

Asking a girl about her past education and whether she intends on returning to school is admittedly a double-edged sword. She might love to go on and on about her numerous academic achievements, but she might break down and admit that her current job has absolutely nothing to do with what she studied. In either case, you are provided with a golden opportunity to reassure and encourage her with an abundance of compliments.

Number 5: How's your job?

If you are years removed from your college years, then talking about work and career goals just might be a safer topic. Admittedly, you shouldn't let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life, which would explain why she's on her seventh margarita. But generally speaking, people like to brag about work, no matter how routine it is. It also gives you an idea regarding whether or not you are dating a future CEO or a waitress for life (not that there is anything wrong with that, of course).

Number 4: Got any friends?

Ask her about her friends. Even if you do not know them, she will love to tell you about her circle of friends, how much they mean to her and where she met them (and all of the things they did together). Don't doze off, though, my good man; this is when you get precious details about her. If you ever make it further than the first date, her friends are usually the best source to unearth the skeletons in her closet.

Number 3: Free time frolicking

Does she Rollerblade, collect stamps or dance? How about sports? What kind of music does she like? These are the questions you must ask to determine how much of a bond exists between the two of you. Moreover, you gain some insight to follow-up questions.

Number 2: Weekend's peakin'

Not only do you get a clearer picture of what life with her will be like after the honeymoon, but you are also sending mixed messages, which is not entirely bad at first. Yes, mind games are childish, but keeping your cards at your chest gives you leverage. She will ask herself: "Does he want to see me on weekends?"

Number 1: Be bold and look ahead

Now, assuming she is having a good time and she is looking at you with that sparkle in her eye... in other words, if her body language is positive, you can look ahead and talk about other things you could do together in the future. Admittedly, you do not want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she's enjoying herself, chances are she'll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.

Keep Talking!

The Fake Out

Pretend for a moment you are meeting a new guy for a date.

You meet for coffee at a local cafe. You are there. He is there. You both seem happy to be talking to one another.

Then exactly 30 minutes into the date his cellphone starts buzzing. Its not a text, that would sound different. Its an alarm set to vibrate mode. He set an alarm to go off 30 minutes after your scheduled meeting time.

He looks at his phone and then back at you sheepishly. He avoids eye contact and says he needs to go home and feed his cat. Which is funny, because in his profile online he doesn't have pets.

Plus who gets up in the middle of meeting what might be "the love of your life" and goes to feed their cat? Or walk their dog? Or help their roommate move furniture.

Of course, it could also be an emergency. His brother just got in a car accident and is in the ER. Why then does he not seem more upset? I mean shouldn't he be acting upset if it was something traumatic? He should be spilling his coffee, swearing a bit, looking confused and in an hurry to leave.

But he doesn't.

Its because its all a polite little act. As if you're really that stupid to fall for it. He is insulting your intelligence. After all, if you call him on it later and say "How is your cat?" he will ignore the question, change the subject, or possibly even claim the cat died. Choked to death on an used condom.

Its all just an elaborate Fake Out to leave in the middle (or start) of a date.

However here is the thing... Men don't use the Fake Out. If men don't like you they just don't call, text or email you. But at least they stick to the initial date to see if they like you or not, because first impressions in the first 30 minutes aren't very accurate.

But women use the Fake Out because that is what women's magazines like Cosmo / Glamour and Women's Health all provide dating advice for meeting people online and one of the things they keep recommending is the Fake Out.

They might not call it by that name. But basically its any bogus excuse for someone to leave during a date. Usually its an alarm or a text message sent by a friend. When that happens the girl looks at her cellphone, looks at the guy, and then tries to decide whether they want to see him again.

This is especially common with coffee dates. Coffee dates are the result of people browsing for possible suitors. They want to meet the person, nothing expensive, and they want to be able to leave in a hurry if the other person is ugly, lied about their photos or has a really annoying laugh.

Now I admit, there are people out there who are uglier in person (thanks to older better looking photos and photoshop), and even do things like lie about certain stuff. That just goes with the territory with online dating.

But lets pretend there is nothing physically wrong with the person, and they're even handsome. They didn't lie. No annoying laugh. But in 30 minutes (or less) maybe it was all pleasantries and the person seems rather boring. Probably because coffee dates ARE BORING. Nothing fun or interesting ever happens during a coffee date.

But here is the thing. I believe in Karma when it comes to relationships. If you do horrible stuff to people, even little things, it will come back to haunt you. If you screen all your dates via coffee and use the Fake Out you will end up being lonely and bitter because nobody was up to your standards within the first 30 minutes of conversation. And those that were up to your standards, YOU weren't up to theirs.

After all, remember that men who aren't interested simply don't phone, text or email you.

Because lets say you meet a man who is up to your standards. Lets call him George. But in the same week that you met him George had 2 other dates.

Date #1 was with you. A boring coffee date. The conversation was good, but it was a buzzkill.

Date #2 George went to a movie with a girl. The movie was okay, but they didn't really talk much.

Date #3 George had a picnic, played frisbee and the two of them chatted for hours and it ended with a hug and a quick kiss.

Now what do you think is the chances George is going to call Ms Boring Buzzkill?

Zilch.

It doesn't even have to end with a kiss. Lets just say that if a man has 3 dates and only 1 of them had physical contact, pretty much guaranteed which one will be deemed having "physical chemistry".

Women look for physical chemistry too. Even during coffee dates, which is ridiculous because they're basing that on what is essentially a job interview. Physical chemistry has different names too. Sexual tension. Romantic Get-Up-and-Go. Zazz. Sparks. Whatever you call it, its the something special that two people feel when their hands touch and they get all excited.

However during a coffee date the only time your hands will touch is when you shake hands. Unless you take up palm reading, you will have very little reason to get some physical contact in there.

Without that physical contact, even in small amounts, you're just basing the other person's sparkiness on their visual appearance and body language/eye contact.

Which brings me back to the whole concept of Karma. If a person does something bad such as cheats / sleeps around, they're guaranteed that at a later point they will get cheated on. If they lie during relationships they will attract the type of people who also lie.

And using a bogus thing like the Fake Out may seem like a minor lie, but what happens when the tables are reversed and a minor lie comes back to haunt you. Lying can also be a slippery slope. If you start lying regularly eventually you will start lying when you know you shouldn't be. People will start to think you're a phony and a fake and only want you for sex, which means you will only attract other liars.

So don't lie. Don't use the Fake Out. Stop using coffee dates. Meet people for a fun activity and see if sparks fly.

When in doubt do a physical activity like rollerblading, ice skating, etc. Not cycling because its difficult to talk while cycling. Frisbee or throwing a football works very well.

How to Ask a Woman on a Date

You are smitten with an adorable woman and you want to ask her out on a date. Asking a woman to go out with you on a date could be really nerve-wracking because asking her out is an important moment in your life, this is the first step in dating and you want to do it right. Here are some tips to make things easier for you.

Confidence.

Of course when asking a woman to go out with you on a date, you need confidence to make it happen but it is best to remind you that having a beer or two to boost your confidence is not a good idea. Alcoholic drinks is not the answer, be naturally confident and learn to conquer your fears. Dress properly and appear with confidence in front of her. Of course you have to know that being confident is different from being overbearing. With a little practice on how to say things in front of her, you will eventually have the guts to ask a lady to go out on a date with you.

Timing.

One thing that you should take into consideration when asking a lady to go out on a date with you is good timing. If she is not in a good mood, it is best to postpone your invitation and wait for a good timing when she is in a good mood. Saying the right things at the right time is more likely to give you a positive response.

Privacy.

When asking a woman to go out with you on a date, it is best to ask her in private. Do not ask her in front of her friends to save her and yourself from teasing or humiliation. It will also put her on the spot and she may feel pressured to decide at once. Never pressure anyone to go out on a date with you. Asking her on a date in private, with just the two of you is more personal and sincere. There is a high chance that she will be pleased and appreciate your good gesture.

Know why you are asking her out.

Before asking a woman to go out with you on a date, you should know why you are asking her on a date because it is easier to convey what you want to tell her if you know why you are doing this. In case she asked you why you are inviting her, you know how to answer her questions. Be sure to express your reasons why you are asking her out in a way that she will feel good. As mentioned earlier, a little practice on how to say your lines on asking a lady to go out on a date with you can be very helpful. Practice in front of a mirror or if you have a close female friend, practice saying your lines to her.

Be ready with your plans.

Of course you have to be prepared with your plans on your first date in case she asked. It would be a big turn off if she asked you about your plans on your first date and you will go blank or unable to give her the details. Do your homework, plan ahead and be prepared. It is best to know something about her before making plans on where to take her on your first date. Ask mutual friends about her interests and hobbies so that you can plan something that she likes to do.

Prepare yourself just in case she says “no’, be mature about it, accept the answer with grace and do not feel bad about her. It is not the end of the world even if you were rejected after asking a woman to go out with you on a date. It just means you have to apply the law of statistics...

Ask X single women out, multiple by the percentage who found you attractive/cute/funny/interesting = the number of women who say yes.

So if 10% of women find you attractive/cute/funny/interesting, then it stands to reason that if you ask out 20 women that 18 of them will say no... but two of them will say yes!!!

So even if the percentage is really low (like 2%) if you ask out enough women some of them will say yes.

Are cooking classes really a good place to meet a new lover?

Imagine you are single. You want to meet someone kewl and exciting (and marriage material).

So you say hey, where do these kewl, exciting and marriage material people hang out?

Art galleries? No. Kind of a crapshoot. Artists come in two classes: Flakey amateur wannabes and serious professionals. Only the serious artist is marriage material and the flakey amateur is, frankly, completely unreliable. (Stereotypes galore!)

Bars? Nope, more likely to be alcoholics who just like to fool around and aren't serious about their relationships.

The ballet? Maybe. But you're supposed to be quiet and watch while the ballerinas are dancing. No talking or flirting with the people you find attractive... unless its after or before the performance. Or during intermission.

Really what you want is an event where you can talk to other single people, who aren't drunks, in a semi-casual setting.

Enter the cooking classes. You can also get private cooking lessons and then invite all your single friends. $25 + the cost of food per person.

After all you could just arrange a catered event for a whole bunch of singles... but per person that will be more expensive. It is less expensive to organize such an event and get cooking lessons in Toronto instead of catering.

If you want to learn a particular type of cooking you can also get Italian cooking lessons in Toronto. Or Indian food. Or Vegan food. Just find someone who teaches a variety of recipes on the topics you want to learn and ask how much they would charge to teach it.

Of course to do this you will need a big kitchen to do this. And some good organizational skills to find equal numbers of single women and men, and not bother to tell them this event is just for singles...

That is right. Tell them its just a bunch of friends. Keep it informal. That way they don't know that the social activity has underlying romantic intentions.

Or sign up for cooking classes at other places... but there will be no guarantee the people will be single.

Worst Dating Gifts Ideas

Gifts really makes a woman’s day special when you take her out on a date - but only if you put thought into the gift. Pampering your potential partner with quality gifts is something that works miracles in a relationship!

Before you haunt yourself with what is a perfect gift for your companion make sure you analyze her likes and dislikes... and make sure you don't just buy her gifts to gain her affection. Some women get really annoyed if its too obvious that you are treating her like an escort.

There are some things that are just a BIG NO NO where gifts for women are concerned. It can TOTALLY offend them and even ruin your relationship chances permanently.

WORST DATING GIFT IDEAS

#1. Wrong sized clothes. Please keep this in mind that girls generally tend to lie about their sizes to save themselves from embarrassment. They try to make you realize that they are perfect for your love scene. A wrong size of clothes can turn out to be a total catastrophe. So make sure you never buy clothes for her until you are sure about the size.

#2. Inexpensive and easy on the pocket jewelry. A majority of women find cheap jewelry quite cliché as a gift on a date. Never consider jewelry as a gift for a date until and unless you are ready to spend quite a bit of amount. The same rule applies to cheap cosmetics. This will leave a wrong impression on your girl.

#3. Membership to a gym. It might be possible that your girlfriend is a heath freak and crazily talks about treadmills and power yoga. But this doesn’t mean that you offer her a gym membership on your date. This might make her feel you want her to loose weight and workout more often.

#4. A pet. Do not consider this as a gifting idea until and unless your date has asked you for one. It might sound quite romantic to gift her, a puppy or a kitten but it’ll call for a lot of her time and care. She might later think it to be the worst date gift.

#5. Something that you are craving for. It’s a date gift for her and not yourself. So avoid buying tickets for a cricket or a football match that you wanted from so long.

#6. Books. To give this as a perfect gift make sure the topic you pick up interests her and not anything like “How to learn cooking” and topics that could be insulting.

#7. Re-gifting should be avoided. If you don’t want to risk your relationship with your woman then don’t even try gifting them things from your last relationship.

#8. Cash as a gift. Cash gift is the worst insult you can do of someone who is so precious in your life. It even gives her the wrong idea that you don’t even have time to buy something nice for the love of your life.

#9. Getting nothing. This is another worst situation you can create on your date. Some women (especially gold-diggers) expect men to shower them with gifts. So going empty handed on a date where they are expecting a gift (like Valentines, they are expecting a gift!) is something you have to watch out for! Put in some effort to show how much you care.