Lots of Single Chinese Women can't find a husband

China has a lot of single women in between the ages of 27 and 35 who can't find a husband.

Why you ask?

Because Chinese men prefer to marry younger women... preferably attractive women. So what has happened is that the younger women who are less attractive end up going to university and get their Masters or PhD and by the time they graduate they are about 27 or so.

But by that point they are no longer considered desirable because they're too old - even though they may have blossomed and become more attractive during those years.

Being single and between the ages of 27 and 35 is a big no-no in Chinese culture. There is a lot of pressure for women in this age group to get married and have a kid. Pressure from parents, from friends, and from society.

But Chinese men are too busy chasing after younger women who are 18 to 26 and attractive, and thus the vicious cycle continues.

A Chinese woman who is a confident, personable, has a good salary job, lives in her own apartment, has a MA from one of China’s top universities, and a wealth of friends - but can't get a date to save her life because "27 is too old".

The Chinese government even has a name for these single, urban, educated women in China. They are called “sheng nu” or “leftover women” — and it bites.

It’s an odd label in a country with a surplus of single young men. (Due to China's one child policy many families choose to have a boy instead of a girl and parents often do late term abortions in an effort to have a boy. Decades of this policy has left China with a lot of young men who are all fighting over a small handful of attractive women.

The phenomenon is so cultural there is even a television drama that ran a couple of years ago called “Old Women Should Get Married”. Not kidding, that was the title! The plot featured a 33-year-old woman who watched her younger sister get married, suffered through blind dates (including one who turned out to be a drug dealer), and put up with her family constantly telling her to stop being so picky and just find a man.

It wasn't a comedy. It was more like a soap opera - but without the evil twin brothers.

This kind of cultural message gets hammered in multiple ways in China’s state-run media. Even the webpage of the government’s supposedly feminist All-China Women’s Federation used to feature articles about leftover women – until enough women complained and told them to stop doing that because its annoying.

Its reached a point where the cultural stigma is so bad that more government interference on the problem (the proverbial lime light) is only making the issue worse.

Since 2007, the Chinese state media have aggressively used the term "leftover women", in surveys, and news reports, and columns, in cartoons and pictures. They are deliberately stigmatizing educated women over the age of 27 or 30 who are still single.

As if it is somehow the women's fault that men keep going over after younger women.

The simple fact is that the gender imbalance in China is one of too many men. There are an estimated 20 million extra men under the age of 30 than there is women under 30. That is 20 million extra men who will either not get married, or go chasing after younger women as the men get older and older.

So its only going to get worse unless the men either get desperate enough to start thinking older and educated, or they are just going to have to stick their "hand best friend". (Any bets on how many millions of single Chinese men are jerking off right now? Difficult to say, p*rnography in China is illegal - So they're probably jerking off to lingerie catalogues.)

Its not just the matter of marrying younger / attractive women either.

Men in China also prefer to marry uneducated women in an effort to get a woman they feel superior to and can more easily control. The same thing happens here in North America too. Men are intimidated by educated women who can think for themselves.

When it comes to education men in China want to marry women who are slightly less educated than themselves. The concept is essentially explained as a matter of quality:

“There is an opinion that A quality guys will find B quality women, B quality guys will find C quality women, and C quality men will find D quality women,” Huang says. “The people left are A quality women and D quality men. So if you are a leftover woman, you are A quality.”

So if you are a woman and get As in your grades in school and university, you are automatically considered to be less attractive.

The Chinese population planning policy used to officially have a law promoting eugenics... They actually had the word ‘eugenics’ in the name of the policy. Since then they've changed the name, but the family planning policy is still behind the times by about 40 years.

The state-run media keeps up a barrage of messages aimed at picky educated women. Here’s one translated title:

“Leftover Women Do Not Deserve Our Sympathy.”

“Pretty girls do not need a lot of education to marry into a rich and powerful family. But girls with an average or ugly appearance will find it difficult. These girls hope to further their education in order to increase their competitiveness. The tragedy is, they don’t realize that as women age, they are worth less and less. So by the time they get their MA or Ph.D, they are already old – like yellowed pearls.”

However I think I should point out something.

There are plenty of men in Canada and the USA (myself included) who would be willing to marry these educated Chinese women. Judging by the photos I've found of China's "leftover women" some of them are very attractive and men in North America probably aren't as intimidated by women who also have brains.

If China doesn't want these women, send them over here!

Breaking Up With An Overly Attached Girlfriend

Relationship dating humour from "Jimmy".

College Relationships

In the video below CollegeHumor tackles the topic of the types of people you meet in college/university and what it is like dating them.

Three Dates Equals Sex

Three Dates Equals Sex is the social standard in Western culture whereby on the 3rd or 4th date the new couple start having sex.

It is not a rule, but it is an unspoken standard. If a couple doesn't start having sex by the end of the third date it usually means that they are not compatible and the relationship will soon end during the "Lets Just Be Friends Speech".

Rushing to sex on the first date can sometimes become an One Night Stand (or a lasting relationship, both are possible).

Having sex on the 2nd date is still considered too fast.

The Third Date is the socially accepted point where it is not only okay to have sex but encouraged because if a couple do not then there is something wrong.

Not all people follow the social standard of Three Dates Equals Sex. Typically non-practitioners are more religious, such as Muslim or Christian women will want a longer time period before having sex. Some super traditional women will even insist on having sex on their wedding night, but that tradition is considered very old world and impractical since many divorces are caused by a faulty sex life. It is the accepted practice that couples get to know each other sexually to make certain they are sexually compatible before getting in a long term relationship.

If a couple is waiting until the 4th date or later there can also be a lot more stress on the sex being "really good" because if it is not then the relationship may end really abruptly due to sexual incompatibility. In contrast on the 3rd date the standards are a bit lower and people aren't so stressed out if they were not perfect together on the first time.

Note - Some women don't achieve orgasm the first time they have sex with a new man. They are used to do this and it is largely the result of nervousness / inability to relax and has nothing to do with his sexual prowess. Some people will also claim that this is normal for all women and that most women fake their orgasms the first time, however less than half of women report faking their orgasms ever so such a claim cannot be true.

Men will feel more pressure to perform well in bed if there has been a huge delay before the couple's first sexual encounter. If they don't do well the woman may decide to end the relationship due to sexual incompatibility and men, logically, want to make certain their skills in bed are not undervalued.

The same goes for women. If a woman doesn't perform well in bed that first time - and stress on this will be increased dramatically if there has been a large delay - then she may find herself dumped in a hurry if the man feels she wasted his time and didn't live up to expectations. Whether the woman knows she is being judged is important. This is apparently a contributing factor for why some women fake their orgasms the first time because they know they are being judged.

Some women, due to relationship inexperience, may not know that they are being judged on sexual performance or may not even know about the Three Dates Equals Sex standard.

Same goes for men. Although the prevalence of men who lack experience with relationships / sex is more limited to very ugly / obese men. Unattractive women in contrast have less problems having sexual partners because they can always attract a man with low self esteem. Thus most "40 year old virgins" are men.

CONCLUSIONS

Knowing that Three Dates Equals Sex is the standard can be quite important. A lot of people have different expectations for when to have sex. Eg. Some men prefer to have sex by the 2nd date and if they don't they don't bother with a 3rd. And likewise some women prefer to wait until the 4th date.

Thus many relationships end early due to women wanting to wait longer then men. The third date is the accepted compromise.

Which means that if someone breaks up with you before the 3rd date that they may have found you so unappealing that they didn't want to have sex with you. At the same time, not breaking up with them but still going on a 4th or 5th date, without having sex, would be a classic example of "Leading Them On".

Note: Most people these days "Go Dutch" when it comes to dating, meaning they split the costs. If they aren't splitting the cost, eg. the man pays for everything, then women will then feel pressured to have sex with the man. It is a weird paradox in which women who are conservative are essentially prostitutes.

ADVICE

Aim to have sex by the end of the 3rd or make the 4th date at one of your homes, where its implied that its time for some physical intimacy. If you go too fast or too slow in your relationships you will eventually realize it is like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. The third date is the right timing.

How to Fake It and get into their Pants

There are lots of books out there selling tricks designed to help men get into the pants of women.

Honestly, it largely comes down to acting sincere.

And sincerity is pretty hard for some men to master.

Basically it comes down to things like...

Looking into a woman's eyes and actually paying attention to what she is saying (instead of ogling her breasts).

Actually listening to what she is talking about and pretending to be interested.

Showing positive body language that shows you are interested in every word she says (instead of fidgeting with your cellphone, playing with your ring or hair, staring off into the distance...).

Make her the centre of your attention - not her body, but her mind first.

Be considerate and polite and show her that you are there for her and her alone. (And rescue kittens in trees, help elderly people across the street etc.)

Basically it is a long list of things like that designed to trick women into thinking this man is for real, he really does like her, that he really does care, listen, is kind, considerate, polite and the perfect man.

Taken all together and assuming she is the least bit attracted to the man, this combination of things will cause most women [by most I mean the vast majority of them, the exact percentage is unknown because it can't be scientifically proven] to be wanting to jump the poor guy before the date is over.

In contrast are much easier to seduce.

Or at least unmarried men. Married men and men who are in a committed loving relationship (practically married) are no doubt much harder because you also need to provide extreme temptation and assurance that they will not get caught.

Otherwise it is pretty simple because men are so simple.

#1. Flirt with him, show some cleavage, try to touch his arm or leg and he will get the hint.

#2. Suggest that the two of you go someplace private.

#3. If his blood is red and he doesn't have anything physically wrong with him he should be hot to trot and ready to ride.

In contrast there is no shortage of how to books on seduction of women - not because women are complicated, but because men are clueless.

What to talk about during a First Date

Number 10: Avoid talking about their past

Generally speaking, one should never ask about past lovers on a first date. In fact, this should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). She might have been hurt or may still be in love with her ex. You also prefer to start with a clean slate, so becoming chummy with her and comforting her about past mistakes may not be the greatest strategy on the first date.

Number 9: Got any brothers or sisters?

Usually, a safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings (but don't ask her if she's got cute sisters). Asking about her parents could backfire if they divorced or separated, especially when she was very young. But sisters and brothers usually trigger good feelings and score points for you, since you're showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.

Number 8: Traveled anywhere special?

A tricky way to spark a girl's interest is by asking about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future. The upside is that if she mentions a spot she always wanted to visit, lo and behold, here comes the knight in shining armor (that's you, boy) who offers to make her dreams come true one day by taking her there. This also provides each of you with some insight about the other's cultural background and openness to new adventures.

Number 7: Drinks, anyone?

A topic of conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drinks each of you prefers. Not only can you gauge whether or not you share culinary preferences, but the potential topics are endless and provide you with a safe topic of conversation -- unless, of course, you are dating someone with an addiction to food or alcohol.

Number 6: Any career plans?

Asking a girl about her past education and whether she intends on returning to school is admittedly a double-edged sword. She might love to go on and on about her numerous academic achievements, but she might break down and admit that her current job has absolutely nothing to do with what she studied. In either case, you are provided with a golden opportunity to reassure and encourage her with an abundance of compliments.

Number 5: How's your job?

If you are years removed from your college years, then talking about work and career goals just might be a safer topic. Admittedly, you shouldn't let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life, which would explain why she's on her seventh margarita. But generally speaking, people like to brag about work, no matter how routine it is. It also gives you an idea regarding whether or not you are dating a future CEO or a waitress for life (not that there is anything wrong with that, of course).

Number 4: Got any friends?

Ask her about her friends. Even if you do not know them, she will love to tell you about her circle of friends, how much they mean to her and where she met them (and all of the things they did together). Don't doze off, though, my good man; this is when you get precious details about her. If you ever make it further than the first date, her friends are usually the best source to unearth the skeletons in her closet.

Number 3: Free time frolicking

Does she Rollerblade, collect stamps or dance? How about sports? What kind of music does she like? These are the questions you must ask to determine how much of a bond exists between the two of you. Moreover, you gain some insight to follow-up questions.

Number 2: Weekend's peakin'

Not only do you get a clearer picture of what life with her will be like after the honeymoon, but you are also sending mixed messages, which is not entirely bad at first. Yes, mind games are childish, but keeping your cards at your chest gives you leverage. She will ask herself: "Does he want to see me on weekends?"

Number 1: Be bold and look ahead

Now, assuming she is having a good time and she is looking at you with that sparkle in her eye... in other words, if her body language is positive, you can look ahead and talk about other things you could do together in the future. Admittedly, you do not want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she's enjoying herself, chances are she'll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.

Keep Talking!

The Fake Out

Pretend for a moment you are meeting a new guy for a date.

You meet for coffee at a local cafe. You are there. He is there. You both seem happy to be talking to one another.

Then exactly 30 minutes into the date his cellphone starts buzzing. Its not a text, that would sound different. Its an alarm set to vibrate mode. He set an alarm to go off 30 minutes after your scheduled meeting time.

He looks at his phone and then back at you sheepishly. He avoids eye contact and says he needs to go home and feed his cat. Which is funny, because in his profile online he doesn't have pets.

Plus who gets up in the middle of meeting what might be "the love of your life" and goes to feed their cat? Or walk their dog? Or help their roommate move furniture.

Of course, it could also be an emergency. His brother just got in a car accident and is in the ER. Why then does he not seem more upset? I mean shouldn't he be acting upset if it was something traumatic? He should be spilling his coffee, swearing a bit, looking confused and in an hurry to leave.

But he doesn't.

Its because its all a polite little act. As if you're really that stupid to fall for it. He is insulting your intelligence. After all, if you call him on it later and say "How is your cat?" he will ignore the question, change the subject, or possibly even claim the cat died. Choked to death on an used condom.

Its all just an elaborate Fake Out to leave in the middle (or start) of a date.

However here is the thing... Men don't use the Fake Out. If men don't like you they just don't call, text or email you. But at least they stick to the initial date to see if they like you or not, because first impressions in the first 30 minutes aren't very accurate.

But women use the Fake Out because that is what women's magazines like Cosmo / Glamour and Women's Health all provide dating advice for meeting people online and one of the things they keep recommending is the Fake Out.

They might not call it by that name. But basically its any bogus excuse for someone to leave during a date. Usually its an alarm or a text message sent by a friend. When that happens the girl looks at her cellphone, looks at the guy, and then tries to decide whether they want to see him again.

This is especially common with coffee dates. Coffee dates are the result of people browsing for possible suitors. They want to meet the person, nothing expensive, and they want to be able to leave in a hurry if the other person is ugly, lied about their photos or has a really annoying laugh.

Now I admit, there are people out there who are uglier in person (thanks to older better looking photos and photoshop), and even do things like lie about certain stuff. That just goes with the territory with online dating.

But lets pretend there is nothing physically wrong with the person, and they're even handsome. They didn't lie. No annoying laugh. But in 30 minutes (or less) maybe it was all pleasantries and the person seems rather boring. Probably because coffee dates ARE BORING. Nothing fun or interesting ever happens during a coffee date.

But here is the thing. I believe in Karma when it comes to relationships. If you do horrible stuff to people, even little things, it will come back to haunt you. If you screen all your dates via coffee and use the Fake Out you will end up being lonely and bitter because nobody was up to your standards within the first 30 minutes of conversation. And those that were up to your standards, YOU weren't up to theirs.

After all, remember that men who aren't interested simply don't phone, text or email you.

Because lets say you meet a man who is up to your standards. Lets call him George. But in the same week that you met him George had 2 other dates.

Date #1 was with you. A boring coffee date. The conversation was good, but it was a buzzkill.

Date #2 George went to a movie with a girl. The movie was okay, but they didn't really talk much.

Date #3 George had a picnic, played frisbee and the two of them chatted for hours and it ended with a hug and a quick kiss.

Now what do you think is the chances George is going to call Ms Boring Buzzkill?

Zilch.

It doesn't even have to end with a kiss. Lets just say that if a man has 3 dates and only 1 of them had physical contact, pretty much guaranteed which one will be deemed having "physical chemistry".

Women look for physical chemistry too. Even during coffee dates, which is ridiculous because they're basing that on what is essentially a job interview. Physical chemistry has different names too. Sexual tension. Romantic Get-Up-and-Go. Zazz. Sparks. Whatever you call it, its the something special that two people feel when their hands touch and they get all excited.

However during a coffee date the only time your hands will touch is when you shake hands. Unless you take up palm reading, you will have very little reason to get some physical contact in there.

Without that physical contact, even in small amounts, you're just basing the other person's sparkiness on their visual appearance and body language/eye contact.

Which brings me back to the whole concept of Karma. If a person does something bad such as cheats / sleeps around, they're guaranteed that at a later point they will get cheated on. If they lie during relationships they will attract the type of people who also lie.

And using a bogus thing like the Fake Out may seem like a minor lie, but what happens when the tables are reversed and a minor lie comes back to haunt you. Lying can also be a slippery slope. If you start lying regularly eventually you will start lying when you know you shouldn't be. People will start to think you're a phony and a fake and only want you for sex, which means you will only attract other liars.

So don't lie. Don't use the Fake Out. Stop using coffee dates. Meet people for a fun activity and see if sparks fly.

When in doubt do a physical activity like rollerblading, ice skating, etc. Not cycling because its difficult to talk while cycling. Frisbee or throwing a football works very well.

How to Ask a Woman on a Date

You are smitten with an adorable woman and you want to ask her out on a date. Asking a woman to go out with you on a date could be really nerve-wracking because asking her out is an important moment in your life, this is the first step in dating and you want to do it right. Here are some tips to make things easier for you.

Confidence.

Of course when asking a woman to go out with you on a date, you need confidence to make it happen but it is best to remind you that having a beer or two to boost your confidence is not a good idea. Alcoholic drinks is not the answer, be naturally confident and learn to conquer your fears. Dress properly and appear with confidence in front of her. Of course you have to know that being confident is different from being overbearing. With a little practice on how to say things in front of her, you will eventually have the guts to ask a lady to go out on a date with you.

Timing.

One thing that you should take into consideration when asking a lady to go out on a date with you is good timing. If she is not in a good mood, it is best to postpone your invitation and wait for a good timing when she is in a good mood. Saying the right things at the right time is more likely to give you a positive response.

Privacy.

When asking a woman to go out with you on a date, it is best to ask her in private. Do not ask her in front of her friends to save her and yourself from teasing or humiliation. It will also put her on the spot and she may feel pressured to decide at once. Never pressure anyone to go out on a date with you. Asking her on a date in private, with just the two of you is more personal and sincere. There is a high chance that she will be pleased and appreciate your good gesture.

Know why you are asking her out.

Before asking a woman to go out with you on a date, you should know why you are asking her on a date because it is easier to convey what you want to tell her if you know why you are doing this. In case she asked you why you are inviting her, you know how to answer her questions. Be sure to express your reasons why you are asking her out in a way that she will feel good. As mentioned earlier, a little practice on how to say your lines on asking a lady to go out on a date with you can be very helpful. Practice in front of a mirror or if you have a close female friend, practice saying your lines to her.

Be ready with your plans.

Of course you have to be prepared with your plans on your first date in case she asked. It would be a big turn off if she asked you about your plans on your first date and you will go blank or unable to give her the details. Do your homework, plan ahead and be prepared. It is best to know something about her before making plans on where to take her on your first date. Ask mutual friends about her interests and hobbies so that you can plan something that she likes to do.

Prepare yourself just in case she says “no’, be mature about it, accept the answer with grace and do not feel bad about her. It is not the end of the world even if you were rejected after asking a woman to go out with you on a date. It just means you have to apply the law of statistics...

Ask X single women out, multiple by the percentage who found you attractive/cute/funny/interesting = the number of women who say yes.

So if 10% of women find you attractive/cute/funny/interesting, then it stands to reason that if you ask out 20 women that 18 of them will say no... but two of them will say yes!!!

So even if the percentage is really low (like 2%) if you ask out enough women some of them will say yes.

Are cooking classes really a good place to meet a new lover?

Imagine you are single. You want to meet someone kewl and exciting (and marriage material).

So you say hey, where do these kewl, exciting and marriage material people hang out?

Art galleries? No. Kind of a crapshoot. Artists come in two classes: Flakey amateur wannabes and serious professionals. Only the serious artist is marriage material and the flakey amateur is, frankly, completely unreliable. (Stereotypes galore!)

Bars? Nope, more likely to be alcoholics who just like to fool around and aren't serious about their relationships.

The ballet? Maybe. But you're supposed to be quiet and watch while the ballerinas are dancing. No talking or flirting with the people you find attractive... unless its after or before the performance. Or during intermission.

Really what you want is an event where you can talk to other single people, who aren't drunks, in a semi-casual setting.

Enter the cooking classes. You can also get private cooking lessons and then invite all your single friends. $25 + the cost of food per person.

After all you could just arrange a catered event for a whole bunch of singles... but per person that will be more expensive. It is less expensive to organize such an event and get cooking lessons in Toronto instead of catering.

If you want to learn a particular type of cooking you can also get Italian cooking lessons in Toronto. Or Indian food. Or Vegan food. Just find someone who teaches a variety of recipes on the topics you want to learn and ask how much they would charge to teach it.

Of course to do this you will need a big kitchen to do this. And some good organizational skills to find equal numbers of single women and men, and not bother to tell them this event is just for singles...

That is right. Tell them its just a bunch of friends. Keep it informal. That way they don't know that the social activity has underlying romantic intentions.

Or sign up for cooking classes at other places... but there will be no guarantee the people will be single.

Worst Dating Gifts Ideas

Gifts really makes a woman’s day special when you take her out on a date - but only if you put thought into the gift. Pampering your potential partner with quality gifts is something that works miracles in a relationship!

Before you haunt yourself with what is a perfect gift for your companion make sure you analyze her likes and dislikes... and make sure you don't just buy her gifts to gain her affection. Some women get really annoyed if its too obvious that you are treating her like an escort.

There are some things that are just a BIG NO NO where gifts for women are concerned. It can TOTALLY offend them and even ruin your relationship chances permanently.

WORST DATING GIFT IDEAS

#1. Wrong sized clothes. Please keep this in mind that girls generally tend to lie about their sizes to save themselves from embarrassment. They try to make you realize that they are perfect for your love scene. A wrong size of clothes can turn out to be a total catastrophe. So make sure you never buy clothes for her until you are sure about the size.

#2. Inexpensive and easy on the pocket jewelry. A majority of women find cheap jewelry quite cliché as a gift on a date. Never consider jewelry as a gift for a date until and unless you are ready to spend quite a bit of amount. The same rule applies to cheap cosmetics. This will leave a wrong impression on your girl.

#3. Membership to a gym. It might be possible that your girlfriend is a heath freak and crazily talks about treadmills and power yoga. But this doesn’t mean that you offer her a gym membership on your date. This might make her feel you want her to loose weight and workout more often.

#4. A pet. Do not consider this as a gifting idea until and unless your date has asked you for one. It might sound quite romantic to gift her, a puppy or a kitten but it’ll call for a lot of her time and care. She might later think it to be the worst date gift.

#5. Something that you are craving for. It’s a date gift for her and not yourself. So avoid buying tickets for a cricket or a football match that you wanted from so long.

#6. Books. To give this as a perfect gift make sure the topic you pick up interests her and not anything like “How to learn cooking” and topics that could be insulting.

#7. Re-gifting should be avoided. If you don’t want to risk your relationship with your woman then don’t even try gifting them things from your last relationship.

#8. Cash as a gift. Cash gift is the worst insult you can do of someone who is so precious in your life. It even gives her the wrong idea that you don’t even have time to buy something nice for the love of your life.

#9. Getting nothing. This is another worst situation you can create on your date. Some women (especially gold-diggers) expect men to shower them with gifts. So going empty handed on a date where they are expecting a gift (like Valentines, they are expecting a gift!) is something you have to watch out for! Put in some effort to show how much you care.

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boyfriend

We all like to pride ourselves on having an honest and truthful relationship with no secrets or lies.

But some things really are just best left in the closet. It’s not lying. It’s not even twisting the truth, technically. It’s just being careful.

Below is a list of ten vital things that you should NEVER say to your boyfriend…. (If you want your relationship to work that is!)

1. “No, you were good. It’s just that….”

Men love believing that no other man can compare to them in the bedroom. If your man does need a bit of guidance in the right direction (possibly quite literally), find a less heart-breaking way of phrasing this. Something along the lines of “You know what’s nice?...” or “You know what might be an idea?....” may be a better way of getting exactly what you want from your man in the bedroom and yet not destroying his ego completely!

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boyfriend

2. “I like your mum. But…”

Even if your boyfriend moans about his mum non-stop, don’t. He can. You can’t. Try to work on your relationship with her if possible, but if that’s not an option, just grin and bear it. It may be hard, but at the end of the day, you’re going out with her son, not her, so who really cares? Slagging her off to your man will only ruin your relationship, meaning (obviously) no boyfriend and that she wins, and we don’t want that now do we? Talk to your friends in confidence instead. It’s a high possibility that they know exactly what you mean too!

3. “When we’re married/old/have kids….”

Until you’re both seriously thinking about these things, don’t bring them up, ever. We all dream of being happily married with two kids, a big house and a dog, but bringing these things up too early on in the relationship will only scare your man away, meaning none of the above, anytime soon. Enjoy the relationship for what it is then eventually these subjects will come up naturally, when the time is right.

4. “There’s this great guy at work…..”

There may well be a great guy at work. Or at university, or at your fitness class or that you met at a party on Saturday night. However, in most cases your boyfriend doesn’t need to know this. Don’t not talk about other people and so on, but if you’re going to phrase it in a way that makes your man feel inadequate, refrain. If this guy is that fantastic, surely you want to be with him, not your boyfriend, anyway?

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Boyfriend

5. “Do you think she’s hot?”

This is always a lose-lose situation. If your boyfriend says yes, you’ll want to kill him. Men will (most often) say no thinking that that is what you want to hear, but then you’ll wonder why he doesn’t think she’s hot (you must have thought she was to ask the question in the first place) and then you’ll question your man’s bad taste in women, leading you to wonder: “Well, if he’s got bad taste, what am I then?” Never a good idea.

6. “You’ve put a bit of weight on since we’ve been together.”

No matter what anyone says, men do care about these things too ladies. Imagine how you’d feel if your boyfriend said this to you. Not impressed, I imagine. If it is true that your man has put on a few pounds since you’ve been together, try suggesting joining the gym or taking up a more active hobby together. This way, you get to spend more time with your man and improve your fitness – A double winner!

7. “Your friends are a bit annoying though, aren’t they?”

The last thing you want to do is to put down his friends. Imagine how you’d feel if he started slagging off your friends. A little bit like slapping him I imagine. It’s a bit like the boyfriend’s evil mother situation. Even if your boyfriend’s friends are a bit geeky/boring/rude/incredibly stupid, just deal with it. Again, try to get on with them, but if that’s just not do-able, at the end of the day, who cares? You’ve got your friends and he’s got his. Your relationship with your boyfriend is totally separate from that that he has with his friends.

8. “I’ll try anything once!”

Unless this is very true girls, don’t say it. You’ll only get his hopes up then let him down. And that’s just cruel isn’t it? It’s like him saying: “Yeah, I love shopping. Let’s go every Saturday!” when we all know that in actual fact, he’s lying and will only take all the fun out of the weekly Saturday daytime shopping trip. Enjoy your sex life and have as much fun, as you both want, whilst respecting each other’s boundaries. If you are actually a little bit kinky though, go for it!

9. “Your mate/dad/brother/hamster is really fit……”

Even if they are, don’t bother. He’ll only get paranoid. Just admire from afar ladies. A bit of eye candy on nights out/at family parties is never going to be a problem really is it? No one needs to know!

And for the biggy……..

10. “Aww… My ex……”

Whether you’re referring to your ex in a good or bad way, this is never the smartest of ideas. Your man will just wonder why you felt the need to bring your ex up and why you’re still thinking about him. If you must, think it in your head. Focus on your current relationship. Not the ghosts of the past. That way, eventually, you won’t even want to bring up your ex. It’ll be all about you and your current other half, and no one else – The way it should be.

Like I said, it’s not lying ladies. It’s just being careful and respecting your man and his feelings. Treat others as you wish to be treated, as they say.

Follow these ten rules, and you’ll soon be well on your way to the blissful, make-other-people-jealous relationship that we all deserve!

What to Wear on your First Date

People always like to be fashionable and appealing when first meeting someone new - which these days means you probably met them through online personals.

Dressing makes a you attractive or breaks you. Mostly during your Date, Improper dressing while meeting your date will surely break your future opportunities. You will always be in a dilemma on what dress you would like to wear for our First Date.

Lot of times you might have ran into problem with your date because you are over dressed. This is because you did not know what to wear for which venue. Yes, First Date Venue is one of the most critical factors that decide what to wear for your first Date. Let me walk-through on how you need to be dressed during your First date

Dinner Date

Most of us go for Dinner date with our beloved. Your dressing should depend on type of meal, whether lunch or dinner and the restaurant. You cannot wear casuals for a nice classy restaurant. You need to be dressed with a nice and clean suit. However if you are going for a fast food restaurant, you cannot be in a suit which will show you as over dressed. This will kill your date because no one likes your opposite to be overdressed.

Now let’s think about nice decent restaurant where we mostly schedule our first date. Wear a elegant shoes with a classy pants with a matching shirt. During your date Women tend to get first impression about their man by looking at their shoes. So make sure you have a nice pair of shoes.Keep it simple but classy. A classy shoe with clean pant with matching shirt is generally a safe choice for a Date.

Movie Date

If you had planned to go for a movie date, we men tend to over dress, this may be we are surrounded by a huge amount of women that go to movies, but remember you are already with someone, so there is no point to get over dressed just to impress other ladies. If you are a jeans, t-shirt guy, that is all you require for your first date. You can also wear a causal shirt and a matching pant is more acceptable. If you overdress for a movie, then there is a high expectation set in next dates. To see how much fashionable you are, a movie date will be best. So be honest in your clothing.

Night Club Date

If you want to have an unconventional first date, try out a Night club or a bar. It is an easy to choose a dress and it is unconventional place for the first date. Try to choose a trendy outfit or a nice suit that will impress your date. If you had planned to go to a bar, then you should avoid wearing awkward suits, just go in a casual shirt and jeans.

These are general ways of having great date and general guidelines on how can we be aware of certain fashion mistakes we do in first date. But everyone is different and they follow their won guidelines so be prepared for a successful first date.

Love, Dating and Long Distance Relationships

I hate long distance relationships.

They are almost always doomed from the beginning. The ones that do last are only because the couple makes a deliberate effort to see each other whenever possible and stay in daily communication.

Here is some handy tips / info when having a long distance relationship.

#1. You have to sincerely like / love the person. If you're not sure about them then you're just wasting your time and theirs.

#2. You have to trust them. This means no checking up on them, no being suspicious all the time, just let them be and trust that they are doing the same.

#3. You have to know yourself. Can you wait for love? Are you patient enough? If you're not the patient type then you are just fooling yourself.

#4. Are there any other barriers to the relationship apart from just distance? Watch for dealbreakers but also look to make compromises if you feel the relationship is worth it.

#5. When you are together focus on doing fun activities you both enjoy.

#6. Be virtuous. Don't be selfish, greedy or lazy. Let your lover bring out the best in you.

#7. Set a date time to call on the phone, use Skype, Google Phone or chat online. This is effectively the long distance version of dating.

#8. Write and send letters via snail mail. Send along small gifts and personal momentos.

#9. Don't try to buy the other person's affection by send them outrageously expensive gifts. They won't be impressed. A wooden locket you carved yourself is more meaningful than a gold one.

#10. Eventually you will want to make the trip to visit each other. Let it be a mutual decision.

#11. Offer to stay in a hotel upon visiting.

#12. Don't expect sex if its your very first meeting.

#13. Don't be pushy or overly dramatic. That is creepy. Avoid anything remotely creepy. Stick to being patient with a dose of humour and wit.

#14. Always leave the other person wanting more.

If you rush things in any relationship don't be surprised if it blows up in your face.

In the beginning...

This new blog, titled True Love Bites, will be dedicated towards dispensing relationship advice, often with some of my own past experiences used as examples.

In part this blog is also a sequel to my other blog The Male Brain at Work which focused both on relationships and also on the different / similar roles played by men and women in society and even dipped into topics surrounding sexuality, advertising and male dominated culture.

As a result I will be cutting back on how often I post on my old blog because any time I run into a relationship topic in my writing it will be posted here instead and the old blog will become more dedicated towards studying the social interactions / roles played by the warring / loving sexes.

True Love Bites will be focusing solely on relationships. Nothing else. I might mention sex in passing, but we won't go into great detail about it. It won't be censored out, but it will be left a bit blurry and vague. Got it?

As part of my first tasks for this blog I am going to write a fresh relationship article to get the ball rolling.

:)