Attractiveness, Kissing and Oral Health

First let us start with an image on how to kiss with braces... the answer? French kissing and use lots of tongue. Avoid having the teeth even near each other.

Otherwise the next step is to talk about oral health.

Seriously, would you date someone who has bad teeth? Would you kiss someone who has teeth that look like they were a chain smoker who never brushed their teeth EVER???

I call it the Bad Teeth Bogus Photo Problem. They look fine in their photos on the personals website, but when you meet them in person you discover they never showed their teeth in any of the photos online. It is just as bad as people who photoshop their images or people who use old photos of themselves from 10+ years ago.

Be honest, if you're like me then you'd probably look at their teeth and then start looking for a way to get away from them. ("So... do you like Hannibal Lecter? Because I love Silence of the Lambs and all those movies. Serial killers are awesome." That should scare them away quickly.)

And then there is the matter that bad teeth is a strong indicator that the person has problems with cleaning and doing chores. After all, if they cannot be bothered to brush their teeth regularly how often do they shower, take out the garbage, vacuum the floors, do their laundry, exercise, etc. People who are lazy about their teeth are often lazy about other factors in their life - which makes them poor choices when you are looking for a long term partner.

So what can you do to improve the quality of your teeth? Well the following page: Oral Health connected to Overall Health gives a list of 12 things to do to improve your teeth.

#1. Brush 2 to 3 times daily.

#2. Floss daily.

#3. Eat healthier meals that contain less sugar.

#4. Eat healthier snacks in-between meals.

#5. Rinse out your mouth regularly with anti-bacterial mouthwash.

#6. Chew sugar-free gum (removes bacteria from your mouth).

#7. If you are a smoker, stop smoking.

#8. Replace your toothbrush every 3 to 4 months.

#9. Schedule dental checkups regularly.

#10. Find a dentist you actually LIKE (this improves your odds of going there).

#11. Contact your dentist immediately if you have an oral health emergency. Don't delay and wait for it to get worse.

#12. If you don't have dental insurance from your workplace, look into getting dental insurance.

The above mentioned page mentions Archer Dental, a local Toronto dentist which has two locations in Rosedale and Runnymede - was voted the Best Dentist in 2013 by NOW Magazine, has 4 stars on Yelp, and is listed as The Best Dentist in Toronto by Product Reviews Canada. So if you're looking for a good dentist, start with the best.

After all when it comes to first dates and first kisses, attractiveness and nice teeth really are important. Why not put your best effort into keeping your teeth healthy and attractive?

The Instant Connection

If you've experienced what it is like to meet someone and have an instant connection (sometimes known as love at first sight) then you will understand that sometimes people also get impatient and kiss on that first date.

Recently I read an article titled "Is it wrong to kiss on the first date?" in which the author claimed she followed two rules:

#1. She doesn't kiss until at least the third date.

#2. She doesn't have sex until the 6th or 7th date (depending on comfort level).

To which I responded to by thinking about every long term relationship I have ever had and have since concluded the person who wrote the above mentioned article has a very different set of rules.

1997-1998 - Kissed on the first date.

1999-2000 - Kissed on the first date.

2000 - Kissed on the second date.

2001 - Kissed on the first date.

2001-2003 - Kissed on the first date.

2003-2009 - Kissed on the first date.

2010-2011 - Kissed on the first date.

2011-2012 - Kissed on the first date.

2013-Present - Kissed on the first date.
I don't kiss and tell so I will also just vaguely say that more than 1 of these long term relationships involved some sort of sexual activity (light petting or more) on the first date or within the first 3 dates.

You may notice also that in 2000 I had one date where we kissed on the second date instead of the first. That relationship only lasted 5 months and was comparatively short as long term relationships go. (Maybe it should be classified as a mid term relationship?)

You may recall I even wrote an article awhile back on the topic of Three Dates Equals Sex. Which basically goes to the concept that if you haven't had sex by the 3rd date, then the other person will probably get bored of you because they are not feeling a connection.

People want that Instant Connection. They want Love at First Sight or whatever you want to call it.

It has been my experience that relationships that last only 1 or 2 dates have little or no physical or emotional attachment to go with them. People get bored of the other person because they aren't getting that Instant Connection / Love at First Sight feeling.

That said however, I should point out that you should ONLY kiss someone during a first date if you are actually getting that feeling.

And if you still are not getting that feeling by the 2nd date, it is time to let the other person know you just aren't feeling it for them. If you are certain it will never happen after the first date, let them know immediately. No point wasting their time / hurting their feelings.

And don't be a jerk and just plain avoid them. Refusing to answer emails, texts or phone calls is just lame and shows you have a complete lack of empathy for other people. It is cold and heartless.

Tell them you are not interested in a 2nd date, let them down easy and wish them best of luck.

"Sorry I am not interested in a 2nd date. I wish you best of luck however." Easy. Short enough to go in a text message if you are too cowardly to tell them any other way.

Advanced Kissing Skills 101

Want to be a better kisser? Start by getting more practice and reading the list below so you can master the best ways to kiss.

Chocolate Kiss - Best done with a Mars Bar because there is caramel in that too! Just take a bite and French kiss as you would. Very silky smooth type of kiss, and can end up very messy. Extremely pleasurable, and even more funny! Perfect for a first date just after a first kiss, or something to do that's a little bit different. A must for anyone, best style of kissing ever!

Spiderman Kiss - It's just like in the movie. You kiss upside down, taking in both of your lower lips and do all those other kisses listed above.

Spitzer Kiss - What you do is when you are ready to kiss (or even while you're Frenching or doing any other kiss) is gently nibble and/or lick the parts just above or below your partner's lip. Now don't slobber all over your partner. Just give enough saliva to get them damp. This is very fun and romantic. It will also turn your partner on or in other words make them like the kiss more.

Lap Kiss - While your partner is laying with his/her head in your lap, lean over and kiss her/him. Your bottom lip will be on your partner's top lip, and vise versa. You can even French kiss while in this position. This kiss is a playful kiss, and it can lead to much more.

Carmex Kiss - If either you or your partner are not carmex junkies, apply a little carmex to your lips and feel the gentle tingle on your lips.

Muzzle Kiss - When kissing the neck of your partner, at one point blow air out of your mouth while pressing the lips down, creating the sound of some sort of... flatulence.! It should be ever so unexpected and quite interesting indeed.

Trade-off Kiss - One of you gets a cinnamon candy and the other a mint. One takes the cinnamon and the other the mint. While French kissing, switch them from time to time. Great fun.

Tongue Ring Kiss - What you do is, if your partner has a tongue ring and the two of you are French kissing, mess with his/her tongue ring while kissing and it gives your partner chills and excitement/happiness because a lot of people with tongue rings love that. Or if the two of you have a tongue ring have a tongue ring WAR! What you do is keep his/her tongue away from your tongue ring, while you're messing with their tongue ring. (NOTE: don't Tangle tongue rings together because that will be a disaster!)

Breath Kiss - In a hot moment - creates major anticipation - barely touch lips with lips slightly parted... then breath your partner's breath... moving heads slowly to experience different sensations... lips touching on and off slightly... it is a very teasing sort of kiss and builds passion tremendously.

Chew Kiss - Tell your partner to place their tongue deeply into mouth deeply... you VERY GENTLY "chew" on the back part of their tongue... do not suck. This will create a sensation in other places that can be very exciting!

Touch Kiss - You do this after you and your partner have Frenched or really kissed alot. What you do is just simply touch tongues - like the tip of your tongue. You may want to move it around but you don't have to. You don't do it inside your mouth you do it out in the open.

Underwater Kiss - Have your partner hold their breath underwater and when he or she taps you give them air.

Moving Kiss - Make sure a bed or couch or chair is behind your partner and when French kissing gently push your partner onto the chair or whatever is behind them. Very good for serious couples or just beginners.

Flavor Kissing - Put a piece of long lasting gum in your mouth (Hubba Bubba, Trident) just before you and your partner French kiss. While kissing pass the gum back and forth, and see how long it takes for the flavor to run out!

Chin Kiss - Hold your partner's chin with your middle, index, and thumb and tilt their head in the right direction. Continue to hold it as you kiss.

Suck Kissing - This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead of French Kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip.

Nip Kissing - This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your partner. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle so as not to hurt your partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner.

Surprise Kissing - This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.

Vacuum Kissing - This is a playful kiss. While in an open-mouthed kiss, suck in deeply so you're sucking the air from your partner.

Cordial Kissing - Take a sip of your favorite drink, either alcohol or something sweet, and then when your lips meet pour the drink in your partner's mouth. Only take a very small sip.

Butterfly Kissing - Put your eye really close to your partner's cheek and flutter your lashes upon their skin. You can also do this on their lips.

Melt Kissing - Pass an ice cube back and forth in mouth while French kissing.

Glow Stick Frenzy - Pass the mini mouth glow stick back and forth (same thing as melt kissing).

Tongue Sucking - When you have the chance to get really deep into your partners mouth, suck on their tongue as far as you can. Don't suck to hard, you don't want to hurt your partner. Otherwise it's very pleasing!

Sigh Kiss - When you first start kissing your partner gently lick their lips with the tip of your tongue. Then blow or sigh into their lips, causing a tingling feeling that will intensify your kiss for sure.

Pop Kiss - Use pop-rocks, great fun. You've heard of fireworks, this is an explosion!

Tongue Tease - When you're French kissing, if/when you pull back, and before your mouths meet again, you can flick your tongue up and down quickly against the other person who is doing the same. It's very teasing and fun to see how long it lasts. Its hard to resist going strong after a while of flicking.