Ashley Madison's Phoney Accounts

Have an affair?

More like: No girls allowed.

A writer for tech news site Gizmodo analyzed the leaked Ashley Madison data and came to the conclusion that, not only are 95% of the women on the site fake accounts, but of those who are likely real, very few logged back in after creating an account.

In short, husbands of the world, breathe easy: there are barely any wives cheating on Ashley Madison.

It's no secret there are overwhelmingly more men than women on the site. And Ashley Madison has confessed that some of its profiles are fake -- "for entertainment" purposes only.

But the recent data breach shows just how many are obviously created to give the impression there are women on the site with whom men can cheat.

Gizmodo writer Annalee Newitz ran the Ashley Madison profiles through scripts that identify "anomalous patterns" and discovered several accounts shared similar e-mail addresses -- including ashleymadison.com domains -- as well as IP numbers, common names, and other oddities that point to phony accounts.

Even more damning was a check into account use.

Of the roughly 37 million accounts on Ashley Madison, only 1,492 women ever checked their inbox for messages.

"Whatever the answer, the more I examined those 5.5 million female profiles, the more obvious it became that none of them had ever talked to men on the site, or even used the site at all after creating a profile," Newitz wrote.

Which means Ashley Madison was never intended to have people cheating on their spouses - it was designed to bilk men who wanted to cheat on their wives out of money, creating the temptation to cheat, charging them money to talk to "fake women" on the website, and then they never actually meet any women on there.

The entire website is basically a huge scam geared towards bilking money out of men who want to cheat - without ever providing the opportunity to actually do so.

So does that make cheating okay? No. It doesn't. But it certainly teaches all those men a lesson: "Don't cheat or we will take your money."

Which sounds like what a divorce lawyer would say.

Which means that the scene in the cartoon below could never happen, because 99.99% of the women on Ashley Madison are fake.

10 Tips for Dating Asian People in Canada

Okay, so let us pretend for a moment you meet an Asian woman or man - and you are white and born/raised in Canada. This happens quite often amongst young people living in Canada's multicultural cities, but many of these relationships end because they feel they are "too different" and ignores the possibility that these two people might be perfect together, but their cultures won't let them.

So if you want to have a serious relationship with someone who is Asian (or African, or Middle Eastern, or Kryptonian - honestly, these tips will help any couple with a case of Culture Shock Love). Here are the tips:

#1. Meet their friends first, before you meet their family members. This is an important stepping stone in a relationship (any relationship). It shows you are serious about the relationship.

#2. Find the things you have in common - sports you both do, activities you both, a love of art / art galleries, and build upon that connection. So for example if you are in Toronto and you both love visiting art galleries make a weekly effort to go many of Toronto's art galleries. This connection will cement the idea that you two really do have things in common and are not so different as society would like you to believe.

#3. Avoid Stereotypes and Pitfalls - Jokes or comments about martial arts, jokes that start with "Confucius say", etc. You should also try to avoid the following things:

• Guessing his or her ethnicity based on their appearance. Guessing is rude, but you shouldn't just assume either.
• Asking "So what is your real name?" Isabel might be her real name her parents gave her.
• Bow in an Asian manner. You're not in Asia so stop bowing. Do that when you visit his parents in China.
• Say anything like "You're pretty strong for an Asian guy" or "Wow, you sure drink a lot for an Asian chick". If you don't know why that is wrong, you should not be dating them.
• Spend way too much time checking our her hair. Straight black hair is not such a big deal.
• Tell her about all the other Asian girls you dated. You wouldn't do this with a white girl, so don't do it with an Asian girl.
• Don't assume that his family is poor. While it might have been true in the past that Asian immigrants were poor, these days it is the opposite. Asian immigrants coming to Canada these days are often quite wealthy or at least well-to-do.

#4. Do NOT Get Language Lessons - Honestly, this is one of the worst things you can do. At least don't do this in the first 6 months. Don't even mention the idea. This is something you do later, after the relationship is already serious and you are perhaps even living together.

#5. Don't assume that because they are Asian that they speak other Asian languages too - like asking a Japanese person if they also speak Korean or Chinese. In fact, don't assume they even speak Japanese unless they say they do.

#6. Don't Make A Big Deal of your Language Skills - Lets pretend you already know how to speak Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese, Vietnamese, etc. Regardless of your level of knowledge, avoid making a big deal about it. Your relationship together should not be based on the fact that you already speak semi-fluent Japanese.

#7. Don't Correct their English unless they ask you to. Yes, they might still be learning, but you don't need to be constantly correcting their English unless they want that extra help.

#8. Treat them like you would any other person. The mistakes people make in Culture Shock relationships is that they make a big deal out of the differences, and this plants the idea that you really are too different to be together. And it is not the culture that is at stake here, it is your obsession with the different cultural differences and treating them differently because of it that will drive you two apart.

#9. Don't watch TV shows like "Fresh Off The Boat" together. Yes, it is a funny show, but watching that together is just weird.



However watching a TV show like "The Walking Dead", which has an interracial couple in it as part of the main cast - but they are not the primary focus of the show, is okay.

On the other hand, watching a show like Marco Polo - that show is over the line. So don't go there.

#10. Don't go to Asian restaurants unless they suggest it first. Go to normal restaurants. Showing an obsession with wanting to visit Asian restaurants all the time indicates you are more interested in his or her background and skin colour than you are in them as a person.

BONUS TIP - When introducing them to your parents, don't mention what their ethnic background is. Their first name is enough. Mention what they do for a living or what they are studying in school - the same things you would do for any other person.

The end result?

Treat them like a person. Treating people differently because of their ethnic background in insensitive and will result in them feeling like you don't really care about them as a person. Show that you care about who they are and that will show you are serious about a relationship with them as a person.

TrueLoveBites.ca - New Domain Name

Yesterday we registered TrueLoveBites.ca, our new Domain Name. We did so because the website recently surpassed 90,000 hits and we figured we should get a proper domain name before we reach the big 100,000 mark - which we should reach in the next 2 or 3 months.

As such we will continue to bring people relationship advice, reviews on personals websites, how to guides and more - but we will be bringing a more Canadian-centric perspective to some of our posts with articles like "10 Hot Places for Dates in Toronto", "7 Great Romantic Getaways in Canada", "Where are the Best Romantic Restaurants in Montreal?", "Americans Dating Canadians - The Woes of Long Distance Relationships", and even reviews of movies (rom coms, aka romantic comedies) showing in Canada. This is nothing new as we have mentioned Canada and various Canadian cities / locations in the past, but we will be adding more Canadian-centric articles in the future.

And as usual TrueLoveBites.ca will continue to post humour and our dose of relationship wit as well.

The photo below is from the Old Mill Hotel in Toronto.

Badoo Sucks and I will tell you why

When I bought my last cellphone it came with an app on it called Badoo, which is a dating / personals app designed to help attractive people meet other attractive people who live nearby - with no value based on personality and only a tiny bit based on their interests.

Having been on Badoo for 2.5 years now I have long since concluded that Badoo (both the app and the website) suck at matching people up. And I shall explain why.

#1. The app is mostly for sharing photos, something you could do on Twitter or Facebook. The difference is that if your photos don't show your face then they get deleted. So photos of you doing anything or wearing anything that obscures your face will automatically get deleted. What does get shown however is lots of mirror selfies, selfies and boring headshots - and only those that get voted on and get high votes for attractiveness are shown. That means all the personality is taken out and what is left is juried acceptability.

#2. There is no section to talk about yourself. This is a big part of other personals websites / apps like POF or OK Cupid. On Badoo you are being asked to judge people almost solely on their looks, which means you are guessing their personality based upon appearance - which as we all know is a highly inaccurate method.

#3. There is a small section for interests where people often state they like Music or Laughing or many other things that basically everyone likes doing. For fun I should go on there and add that I like Money and Free Stuff, because everyone likes having those things too.

#4. Communication sucks too. One of the things the app / website does is it lets people know when someone else likes them, but if you want to communicate with them you have to pay for it. Another feature is when two people like each others photos it lets you know that you both turned your keys effectively, and you can communicate for free, but to do so you need to overcome the awkwardness of "So... We both liked the other person's photo but I know diddly squat about your personality. How do I know you are not a psycho?"

#5. The more you use Badoo the more you realize POF and OK Cupid are infinitely better. Badoo is basically a time waster for looking at photos, rarely communicating with people and the chances of you meeting one of them in person is nil because it is by far the creepiest app to have a conversation on. POF and OK Cupid at least have personality profiles to base a conversation on and thereby avoid the awkward creepiness.

As a review, I give Badoo 0 stars out of 5. It doesn't deserve a single star and it is past time I deleted it from my phone.

In contrast I give POF 4 stars out of 5 and OK Cupid 5 stars out of 5.

Valentines is coming, Rose Colour Meanings + Bizarre Black Tar Rose

Today is February 1st which means Valentines is coming soon.

Which means your lover may try to get you some roses. (I like chocolate roses myself, when you are tired of looking at them you can just eat them. What girl or guy wouldn`t want chocolate roses???)

But lets pretend you are more of a traditionalist who wants something more meaningful?

Or maybe you're single and have decided to spend Valentines with a single friend (just friends) and you want to get them something that signifies friendship. Hint hint, yellow roses = friendship.

The Meaning of Rose Colours

Colours have profound meanings to us in society.  Throughout history colours have been used to signify royalty or high standing (purple in Ancient Rome) or purity (white is the first choice for religious groups in many different societies).  Colours have significant psychological effects on us and can change our mood, our energy and our emotions.  This same principle has been applied to roses over the years.  When one gives a rose to another person they are not just giving a flower, they are also conveying a coded meaning that can be deciphered by looking at the colour of the rose.  Most people know that red roses mean 'I Love You', but does it mean anything else and what do the other colours mean?

Red Roses

When we think of roses we always think of a red rose and it is the most common rose given on Valentine's day.  Red roses are meant to convey the following meanings: passion, beauty, courage and respect.  With so many connotations it is no wonder the red rose is used so much.  It can be used to tell a person that you have fallen in love with them or to tell another person that you are proud that they graduated from college.

Orange Roses

Being a mix of yellow and red, orange roses are more rare and signify love. This doesn't mean they are the "friends with benefits roses", orange roses are a mix of both friendship and love and therefore to be cherished.

Yellow Roses

Friendship! Huzzah! Really only useful on Valentines if you want to give them to a friend who is just a friend in every sense of the word. None of this "friends with benefits" nonsense.


Pink Roses

Pink roses are used to tell another that you appreciate them, to convey grace and to describe a feeling of happiness. Pink roses are used to indicate platonic feelings of caring and joy.  You might give pink roses to your grandmother on her birthday to show that you care and enjoy her company.


Blue Roses


Blue roses are actually just white roses which have been dyed blue. They signify intelligence, creativity and uniqueness.

Lavender Roses

Lavender roses are a rare type and are not usually thought of at all when one thinks of roses.    When one gives a lavender rose to another the giver is telling the recipient that they have fallen in love at first sight or that they are enchanted with the recipient.  You may want to give it on a first date to express your infatuation to your hopefully future girlfriend or boyfriend.

White Roses

Signify purity, marriage, children, a bond of family.

Turkish Black Rose during the summer months.

Turkish Black Rose when not in season.

Black Roses

A black rose is extremely rare.  In fact, there is only one variety and it can be found only in Turkey.  It is called the Halfati rose, named after the village that is grown in, and is truly black only in the summer months.  In the other seasons that rose appears to be deep crimson.  The rose only grows in that region because of the particular pH balance found near the Euphrates river.  It will only last for 1 week when cut.  To the Turks, the Halfati rose represents deep passion and death, so the rose could be given to a lover or as a warning to your enemies (try not to mix them up).

Given the extreme rarity of the Halfati rose, it may be a good idea to try to find other sources of black roses if you are so inclined to give them. eg. You could dye them black somehow. A local flat roofing company may be your best bet.  They can make a black rose for you by dipping a rose in roof tar in mere seconds.  The result is a black rose that will last forever.  Though it may not smell as good as the  Halfati rose, it will be much easier on your wallet.

I found out about the black tar roses on the Arob 12 website, but if you want to try making your own then I recommend reading How to make Black Roses using Roofing Tar.

I also found another source that tried using some kind of waterproofing material from a basement waterproofing company, but the results from their experiment ended up looking horrible so I don't recommend trying to make a black rose that way.

Honestly, given the choices, I would personally probably go for the chocolate roses made from chocolate icing.

Monogamy Vs Monotony

How to get a Boyfriend - Chinese Wisdom

Funny Text Message Breakups

"It is not ewe, it is mi. Aye think we shud brake up."

"You were mean to my cat so I am breaking up with you."

"I will give you two choices. Either we can break up or I can cheat on you. Pick one."

"I can't stand it when guys whine during breakups so I have decided to just stop talking to you."

"How do I block someone on my phone? Namely you?"

"I think you and I could have been friends in another lifetime. What say we just be friends in another lifetime okay?"

"I have decided I want to see other people who are more attractive than you."

"You aren't funny or smart enough. I need someone who is witty, not twitty."

"So... wanna have breakup sex?"

"I have concluded you never bathe and I can't date Pigpen."

"You are a sex god(dess) and I don't want to be in a relationship based solely on sex."

"I cheated on you and got a STD. I think we should break up."

"Remember how we discussed having a threesome with another woman? Well I tried it without you and I have decided I prefer women over men."

"You wouldn't let me cut your hair so I am breaking up with you."

"I am leaving the country and going to Splitsvanistan. Goodbye."

"You and me were never meant to be so I think we should forget it ever happened."

"I think we should make like a banana and split."

"Break ups are hard, but it is much easier for me if I just end it now via text message."

"You kiss like an overly friendly dog and now I have fleas. If you come near me again I am calling the pound."

"I wish we could reverse time and never go out."

"Monkeys kiss better than you do. Maybe you should date a chimp instead."

"I found your p*** collection. You are so dumped."

"I need a man who is more like Mr Grey. You and me are Fifty Shades of Splitsville."

"What does you, me and Ukraine have in common?"

"I thought you and I would never break up but that was before I found out you were a loser."

"How dare you make fun of Mr Darcy! He is the perfect man and you are a loser who just got dumped."

"Sorry I don't go out on 2nd dates with losers who get dumped on the first date."

"You broke up with me before via text message so I am dumping you via text message so you can see what it is like."

7 Great Romantic Getaways in Canada

1. Lover's Arch, New Brunswick

Lover's Arch at the Hopewell Rocks in New Brunswick has to be one of best locations in Eastern Canada for geology lovers. Experiencing all that natural beauty is sure to bring a rock-loving couple closer together.

2. Le Grand Cru, Quebec

Enjoy dinner for two on Le Grand Cru. Cruise along lovely Lake Memphrémagog on this luxury excursion boat while you sip on fine wine, enjoy top-notch cuisine and take in the beauty that surrounds Quebec's Eastern Townships.

3. Banff Upper Hot Springs, Alberta

Experience the 1930s alpine charm at the Banff Upper Hot Springs in Alberta and go skiing with your lover as you take in the breathtaking views. Soak with your sweetie in natural steamy hot spring water surrounded by big blue skies and stunning views of the Rockies.

4. Reesor Ranch, Saskatchewan

Reesor Ranch in Saskatchewan's Cypress Hills offers a kickback cowboy experience perfect for any city slicker, especially couples who want to try something new and authentic.

5. Blachford Lake Lodge, Northwest Territories

Travel by dogsled – and take a turn at driving the dog team yourself – from Blachford Lake Lodge, near Yellowknife, NWT, to one of its heated prospector tents for an overnight camp out. Definitely more for couples who love a rustic getaway and a new experience!

6. Sonora Resort, British Columbia

The view as you fly by helicopter into British Columbia's Sonora Resort – one of the country's finest when it comes to marrying the best in wilderness and luxury – is catch-your-breath beautiful. Bald eagles and grizzly bears are often spotted, so keep your eyes peeled as you fly closer.

7. CN Tower EdgeWalk, Ontario

Toronto's thrilling new EdgeWalk at the CN Tower is definitely not for the faint of heart. But for couples (or even newlyweds) who love a good rush of heart-pounding excitement – and who have no fear of heights – this is a must do.

Attractiveness, Kissing and Oral Health

First let us start with an image on how to kiss with braces... the answer? French kissing and use lots of tongue. Avoid having the teeth even near each other.

Otherwise the next step is to talk about oral health.

Seriously, would you date someone who has bad teeth? Would you kiss someone who has teeth that look like they were a chain smoker who never brushed their teeth EVER???

I call it the Bad Teeth Bogus Photo Problem. They look fine in their photos on the personals website, but when you meet them in person you discover they never showed their teeth in any of the photos online. It is just as bad as people who photoshop their images or people who use old photos of themselves from 10+ years ago.

Be honest, if you're like me then you'd probably look at their teeth and then start looking for a way to get away from them. ("So... do you like Hannibal Lecter? Because I love Silence of the Lambs and all those movies. Serial killers are awesome." That should scare them away quickly.)

And then there is the matter that bad teeth is a strong indicator that the person has problems with cleaning and doing chores. After all, if they cannot be bothered to brush their teeth regularly how often do they shower, take out the garbage, vacuum the floors, do their laundry, exercise, etc. People who are lazy about their teeth are often lazy about other factors in their life - which makes them poor choices when you are looking for a long term partner.

So what can you do to improve the quality of your teeth? Well the following page: Oral Health connected to Overall Health gives a list of 12 things to do to improve your teeth.

#1. Brush 2 to 3 times daily.

#2. Floss daily.

#3. Eat healthier meals that contain less sugar.

#4. Eat healthier snacks in-between meals.

#5. Rinse out your mouth regularly with anti-bacterial mouthwash.

#6. Chew sugar-free gum (removes bacteria from your mouth).

#7. If you are a smoker, stop smoking.

#8. Replace your toothbrush every 3 to 4 months.

#9. Schedule dental checkups regularly.

#10. Find a dentist you actually LIKE (this improves your odds of going there).

#11. Contact your dentist immediately if you have an oral health emergency. Don't delay and wait for it to get worse.

#12. If you don't have dental insurance from your workplace, look into getting dental insurance.

The above mentioned page mentions Archer Dental, a local Toronto dentist which has two locations in Rosedale and Runnymede - was voted the Best Dentist in 2013 by NOW Magazine, has 4 stars on Yelp, and is listed as The Best Dentist in Toronto by Product Reviews Canada. So if you're looking for a good dentist, start with the best.

After all when it comes to first dates and first kisses, attractiveness and nice teeth really are important. Why not put your best effort into keeping your teeth healthy and attractive?

Would you date a deaf person?

COMMUNICATION SKILLS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Years ago I dated a deaf girl. For me this was not too big of a deal, as I already have hearing difficulties. So it was like one deaf person who knew sign language dating one partially deaf person who was learning sign language. Communication for us was not the problem. What I discovered early in the relationship it was her religiousness and clingy-ness that bothered me. Being religious and clingy is not a good combination.

Communication for us included a combination of sign language and writing / typing things down when it was too complicated to discuss using my limited knowledge of sign language. Note - I studied sign language for years before I met her. My interest in sign language dated back to making a male friend in university who was deaf and this sparked my interest in learning the language.

For me, since I have suffered from hearing damage since the age of 12, learning sign language also seemed like a logical step in case I ever needed it in the future. What if I went deaf sometime in the future and was no longer able to communicate so easily. I would need to learn how to read lips, sign language and so forth.

Much more likely I am probably going to need hearing aids as I get older, in which case I am in luck because I already know an audiologist in Mississauga, who has a hearing clinic in Oakville and another hearing center in Vaughan near Woodbridge. Very nice guy who checked my ears over a year ago to see how bad the damage had gotten.

At the time I was single and I began thinking "What if I went deaf? Who would date a deaf guy?" Well obviously deaf women would be willing to date me, but that really limits my options.

In the past during first dates I have sometimes mentioned my hearing difficulties and I have found that some women react poorly to the idea of dating a guy whom they would sometimes have to repeat what they said in a louder voice or stop mumbling so much.

The one girl got really upset when I explained that she mumbles a bit and that it was difficult for me to hear exactly what she was saying. Which is perhaps understandable. Maybe she got teased as a child for having a speech impediment.

In which case you would think she would have more sympathy for the kid who got teased for having hearing difficulties. But apparently not.

I don't mind telling the story of how my hearing got damaged. It is a funny story involving trespassing and someone shooting at me. If the topic of funny stories comes up it is a story I am not ashamed to tell.

But I do wonder if some women react badly to the idea of dating someone who is either deaf or has hearing damage.

I also firmly believe that if I wore a hearing aid that this would be considered a flaw in my visual appearance by some women and they would refuse to date a person who wears a hearing aid.

So my question for people out there is

"Would you date a person who is deaf or has hearing difficulties? Why or why not?"

Please leave your answers in the comments.

5 Ways to Spot if your Date is a Serial Killer

Awhile back I wrote a post titled "5 Ways to Spot a Serial Dater" during which I commented that I should make a post titled "5 Ways to Spot if your Date is a Serial Killer".

So yes, here it is...

#1. You are on the date and you notice your date is carrying surgical gloves.

#2. He or she invites you over and then goes down into the dark, gloomy basement - and is gone for unusually long periods of time. (Tip: Don't go down there!)

#3. They are unusually clean - like beyond OCD clean, I am talking like Hannibal Lecter clean. Call it one of those weird hallmarks of serial killers, they are unusually fastidious. They make "Mr Clean" look dirty and normal.

#4. The person you are dating is "too good to be true", lives alone, owns property and has lots of disposable income - which means they have lots of land to bury the bodies, lots of money to buy weapons/tasers/pepperspray/etc...  and yet they're wasting their time with you??? Something is wrong!

#5. They drive a plain white van with blacked out windows. That is probable cause right there.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN LADIES AND GENTS!

Halloween is a great time of year to meet New Lovers

Want to meet a potential new lover?

Start by going to Halloween parties.

And actually put some effort into your Halloween costume.

You can even go to Halloween themed events hosted by various local clubs.

For example you could go to Spooky Poetry Night, hosted by the Toronto Poetry Club on October 30th.

RSVP by visiting torontopoetryclub.com :)

The Instant Connection

If you've experienced what it is like to meet someone and have an instant connection (sometimes known as love at first sight) then you will understand that sometimes people also get impatient and kiss on that first date.

Recently I read an article titled "Is it wrong to kiss on the first date?" in which the author claimed she followed two rules:

#1. She doesn't kiss until at least the third date.

#2. She doesn't have sex until the 6th or 7th date (depending on comfort level).

To which I responded to by thinking about every long term relationship I have ever had and have since concluded the person who wrote the above mentioned article has a very different set of rules.

1997-1998 - Kissed on the first date.

1999-2000 - Kissed on the first date.

2000 - Kissed on the second date.

2001 - Kissed on the first date.

2001-2003 - Kissed on the first date.

2003-2009 - Kissed on the first date.

2010-2011 - Kissed on the first date.

2011-2012 - Kissed on the first date.

2013-Present - Kissed on the first date.
I don't kiss and tell so I will also just vaguely say that more than 1 of these long term relationships involved some sort of sexual activity (light petting or more) on the first date or within the first 3 dates.

You may notice also that in 2000 I had one date where we kissed on the second date instead of the first. That relationship only lasted 5 months and was comparatively short as long term relationships go. (Maybe it should be classified as a mid term relationship?)

You may recall I even wrote an article awhile back on the topic of Three Dates Equals Sex. Which basically goes to the concept that if you haven't had sex by the 3rd date, then the other person will probably get bored of you because they are not feeling a connection.

People want that Instant Connection. They want Love at First Sight or whatever you want to call it.

It has been my experience that relationships that last only 1 or 2 dates have little or no physical or emotional attachment to go with them. People get bored of the other person because they aren't getting that Instant Connection / Love at First Sight feeling.

That said however, I should point out that you should ONLY kiss someone during a first date if you are actually getting that feeling.

And if you still are not getting that feeling by the 2nd date, it is time to let the other person know you just aren't feeling it for them. If you are certain it will never happen after the first date, let them know immediately. No point wasting their time / hurting their feelings.

And don't be a jerk and just plain avoid them. Refusing to answer emails, texts or phone calls is just lame and shows you have a complete lack of empathy for other people. It is cold and heartless.

Tell them you are not interested in a 2nd date, let them down easy and wish them best of luck.

"Sorry I am not interested in a 2nd date. I wish you best of luck however." Easy. Short enough to go in a text message if you are too cowardly to tell them any other way.

5 Ways to Spot a Serial Dater

Note - I should also make a post called "5 Ways to Spot if your Date is a Serial Killer".

Anywho a Serial Dater is a person who goes on lots of first dates, but rarely has a 2nd date. Basically if you go on a first date with a serial dater you are just wasting your time because right away they have zero interest in having a relationship with you (because they are commitment-phobes).

Here is how to spot them and avoid them.

#1. Serial Daters love meeting people for coffee or tea. They don't have to spend much on the date, it has zero commitment (because serial daters are afraid of commitment) and if their first impressions are poor they can use a Fake Out ("Oh oh I just got a text and my dog is sick. I need to leave...").
So Lesson 1, NEVER meet anyone for coffee or tea. If they are so afraid of commitment that they cannot commit to a real date, don't even bother with them. They will just waste your time.

#2. Serial Daters love using the Fake Out. Any excuse for them to leave in the middle of a date and then never talk to you again. Often the excuse will be the equivalent of "My dog ate my homework." but more likely you will get the "My roommate just broke up with her boyfriend and I need to go console her."

People that use the Fake Out basically just want to meet you in person so they can see whether your photos were real and then have an escape plan if you are not up to their standards and/or they find you boring. So Lesson 2, never meet anyone for a date unless they are genuinely interested in you and it is clearly obvious in your communications together (email, text, phone, skype, whatever).

#3. Serial Daters don't like spending much time talking back and forth. They just chat a little bit and then quickly pop the tea/coffee question.

So Lesson 3, don't meet anyone right away. Exchange longer messages / emails first to see how talkative and interesting they are. And if they are genuinely interested in you they will want a more romantic first date than crappy coffee/tea. See Lesson 2 over again.

#4. Serial Daters are sometimes looking for one night stands. On the 2nd date... Sometimes the 1st date but often the 2nd. It is a weird phenomenon, but lets pretend you make it past the coffee date and they do want a 2nd date. The 2nd date will be something friskier and usually end up at YOUR place. Why your place? I think it is because bringing yoi home to their place sounds like too much commitment. Then you know where they live and can just drop by whenever you want and that sounds like commitment to them.

Thus let us pretend you convince them to have a date other than a coffee date (eg. You have a picnic at the beach instead and it goes well, and possibly includes kissing and light petting.) When asked about a 2nd date the Serial Dater will typically refuse to give a definite answer and will say "we can discuss it later" and then you never hear from them again.

But the other possibility is that they do want you for sex (at least once) and then you make it to the 2nd date, you have sex, and then you either never hear from them again or they give you some lame excuse for why they cannot see you again. More often you just won't hear from them again.

Now you might think "Wow, the pressure is on to make that one night of sex really good." and you are partially right. But if it is too good they might think you are some kind of weird freaky sex fiend, and decide you are obsessed with sex.

So Lesson 4, don't have sex on the 2nd date. I know that may seem counterintuitive to some people out there who love having sex on the first or second date, but trust me on this one. Do a really good job on the 2nd date, kissing, maybe some heavy petting - but stick to foreplay or less because you want to make them WAIT for the third date. Call it "playing hard to get", but if you can get them to go on the third date then BAM, third date equals commitment. (3rd date is also the best date to have sex too. Delay any longer and people get bored.)

#5. Serial Daters usually don't have a good track record of long term relationships. Often they just date date date different people, sometimes fill their loneliness with an one night stand and then go back to serial dating again. So how do you determine which people have a bad track record?

Lesson 5, ask the following questions BEFORE you agree to a first date.

When was the last time you had a long term relationship and how long did it last?

Your longest relationship, how long did it last?

It doesn't really matter how they answer these questions because they could be lying. What matters is what they do when they realize you are looking for a long term relationship. Any commitment-phobe who is remotely honest with themselves will come up with an excuse to cancel the first date so they don't need to meet you. The delusional commitment-phobes will still want to meet you because they are in denial about being a Serial Dater and like to pretend they want a long term relationship.

But hey, Lesson 5 should cut the number of Serial Daters you meet roughly in half.

Exercise and Common Lies people post on Personals

Ever read a profile on a personals website and the person lists the following as exercise activities they enjoy regularly?

1. Long walks (exploring the city, by the beach, etc)
2. Yoga
3. Hiking (implies long walks in the wilderness)
4. Biking or cycling
5. Weightlifting
6. Martial arts (any kind)

Chances are likely the following things are true:

The person rarely goes for long walks and are just saying that because they want the appearance of being active.

They probably so own a yoga mat, but it spends most of its time collecting dust.

They don't know what real hiking is and they are saying hiking because they think their ideal mate should be outdoorsy.

They own a bicycle but only ride it once in awhile - never on bike trails, never downtown, just 3 - 10 times per year on quiet streets or down by the beach.

It is typical guy thing to say they do weightlifting - it means they have dumbbells but probably don't use them often. Much more rare for women to say they do weightlifting.

Any time a man says he does martial arts it mean he took one class years ago and has probably forgotten everything.

EXCEPTIONS TO THESE GENERALIZATIONS

• They have actual photos of them doing these activities.
• They make a big deal about talking about the activity in their profile. (Yoga is my life, I cannot live without it!)
• They listed "yoga instructor" as their occupation.
• They are a rarity and were not lying about their activities. Otherwise you can assume most of them are exaggerating how often they do an activity.

In some cases it is the person lying to themselves. They WISH they were more active. Which is true for most of us.

Do's and Don'ts of Dating Vegans and Vegetarians

So... You're dating a vegetarian or vegan eh? Well here are some handy do's and don'ts for making your relationship go smoothly.

Do take your date out to various vegan / vegetarian restaurants on a regular basis. So for example if they're a raw vegan, take them out to a raw vegan restaurant like Rawlicious once in awhile.

Do not complain about the food when eating at a vegan / vegetarian restaurant. When in doubt, just order a smoothie.

Do make an effort to eat more vegetarian food when socializing with your date.

Do not start arguments by pointing out your date is wearing leather boots.

Do realize you will likely end up living in the Vegan Village in Toronto or some place similar if the two of you buy a house together.

Don't mock their food choices. Being a vegan or vegetarian is often an ethical decision for people and is practically their religion.

Do have picnics whenever the weather is good for it. Picnics can be a surprisingly frugal way of "dining out" together.

Don't make a big deal about things that are obviously an issue for them. Just stop worrying about it and be "easy going", "down to earth" and whatever other things you claimed to be in your personals profile.

Do avoid talking about food too much. Basically don't talk about it unless they bring up the topic.

Don't take them to a normal restaurant on a first date. Try to accommodate and show some interest in their food choices.

Do try to fall in love with them, not some idealized version of them.

Attractive Things Men Do

The more things that men do from this list, often without realizing they are doing it, makes them more attractive to women.

Proof that simply taking care of themselves in terms of fashion, cleanliness, and being nice can win points with women.

Dating Academic Cheaters

By Rebecca S. Mart


Why you should not date from cheaters, at the very least academic cheaters.

You have heard the old adage cheaters never prosper I’m sure. Well in the case of academic cheaters that use an essay writing company in Toronto it could not be truer. Not only are academic cheaters ‘not too smart’ in more ways than one, but the simple act of cheating can indicate some moral failings in a potential partner that are just not attractive.

Not Smart In The First Place

Let’s face it if you feel the need to cheat in the first place you must not be the smartest apple in the bunch and that's just not attractive. The need to cheat shows a lack of knowledge that only cheating can rectify. Back when I was in a Toronto high school I had a friend that was not too good in math. She felt the need to cheat on an algebra math test. She eventually got me to agree to cheat with her (I wrote a bunch of equations on the back of my calculator) and in we went thinking we had gotten one over on the teacher. So I am sitting down answering questions surreptitiously looking at the back of my calculator hoping that my teacher did not see me look. Then it dawned on me, I already know this stuff and looking at my calculator is slowing my down. I stopped cheating right then and there and never did it again. If you know it, you know it and you do not need to cheat.

Laziness Is The New Black, Or Not

Another reason to cheat is laziness. How hot is that? Not very. Too lazy to get up to do a little essay writing then too lazy to get up and help around the house, change that dirty diaper late at night and to lazy to make sure you are satisfied in bed. NO THANK YOU!!!

Not Smart Enough To Know That Cheating Will Not Help In The Long Run

If you have to cheat then you are not learning. Later on in life you will see the affects when you need to call on that knowledge and it is not there. I had a classmate in high school who was on the fast tract to one of the most prestigious business schools in Toronto, Canada. She was a serial cheater. She purposely missed class on test day in order to get the answers to the questions and then cheated on the test the next day. She had a 98% by the end of the year. The worst part was everyone knew she was cheating, even the teacher. But she finished the year and got in to that great school. Three months after university started this girl had dropped out of school and was working at the mall. That did not work out for her now did it? Do you want someone that works at the mall because they cheated on a test? Don’t think so.

Moral Equivocation

I can only imagine the moral equivocation that must take place in these people heads. Despite being told that it is wrong the cheat, that it is against the rules and could result in expulsion, cheaters still manage to cheat anyway. That takes a special type of equivocating that does not necessarily care about the consequences so much as the possible positive result of the act. I imagine that a cheater must say this to themselves:

“Well, it’s just one test, I’m not really hurting anyone.”

That can easily turn into “Well, it’s just one extra-martial affair, I’m not really hurting anyone.” Do you really want to take that chance?

Bottom line just stay away from cheaters. Nothing good can come from it.

An Essay on Cheating and Breaking Up

By Ai Lung Nguyen

If you have ever been cheated on then you know the cheating is often the biggest prelude to breaking up. Let me explain - in essay format - why this is.

First, cheating shows a lack of respect for the other person you are supposed to be in a romantic relationship with. It shows you don't respect the covenant of the relationship with them, that you don't respect their intelligence, and that you don't respect them to come to the realization you are cheating on them and then do something about it.

Second, cheating is a sign that the cheater is unhappy and doesn't want to be in the relationship. They would rather be with someone else, and therefore are sleeping with someone else. It is really just a matter of time before they decide to cut the cord and make it official.

Third, cheaters are often also big time liars. It is exceptionally rare for a cheater to be truthful about what they are doing. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is a liar? It is really just a matter of time before the lie is discovered and the lies pile up to the point that the proverbial relationship breaks.

Fourth, cheaters are cowards. They are too cowardly to "man up to it" and admit they are unhappy with the relationship they are currently in so they go seeking for enjoyment elsewhere. This cowardice is a vice that will ultimately lead to the relationship ending - often in a cowardly way, such as breaking up via text message, phone or email.

Fifth, cheaters suffer from a communication problem. They don't communicate their unhappiness, they don't communicate they want something or someone else, they don't communicate their own cowardice of the situation they are in. Lack of communication is one of the biggest factors that causes couples to break up (that and lack of sex).

Sixth, cheaters often cheat using sex - which shows that they are probably very sexually active (likely a nympho or satyr) and they only got into the relationship because of their sexual appetite in the first place. But now that they are in the relationship they have determined that the person they are with isn't really sexually compatible. For whatever reason (cowardice, habit of lying, etc) they choose to find a new sexual partner to replace the current sexual partner before they even breakup the relationship.

Taken all together a single act of cheating on someone shows a clear direction towards an impending breakup - or in the case of an unhappy marriage, a divorce.

A happy marriage that has cheating it in might well become an unhappy marriage, which again later leads to divorce.

It is rare, in my opinion, that a marriage is strong enough to remain "happy" after an event of cheating has occurred and discovered.